I began to worry and fidget by half past five. Two buses had gone by and she had not come home from school. I thought of all the places she could go to and became afraid because there were so many. My husband was working in Glasgow and my father, who stayed with us, was on holiday.
The house was empty. I was afraid. Not of being alone but she would have phoned to tell me if she was going away anywhere. My stomach turned, I felt hungry but could not eat, tired but could not sleep, tormented by my imagination.
At six o’clock I phoned her friend but she had no idea where she was and suggested I phone several people who were other school friends. I phoned them all but no one knew and said they would phone back if they found out where she was. I took the car into town. There was a girl she was friendly with who lived in a house on the way to town. She hadn’t a phone so I went to the door.
“Elaine, have you seen Cathie?” It was hard to speak as the cries of pain echoed through my head. I was too embarrassed to stay, I had started to cry and my eyes were red and sore. I went into all the cafés she talked of. It was no use. I went home and found myself waiting for the phone to ring. It did several times. Always someone to ask if I had found her. At nine o’clock I answered the phone for the millionth time. It was Mrs. Wilson, Elaine’s mother. She said Cathie was at their house. I felt as though the greatest load had been lifted from my heart. Again I took the car and drove into town. She was very quiet and looked at me coldly. She thanked Elaine and got into the car. We said nothing but I wanted to be angry, I wanted to show how worried I had been. I knew that she would not see my anger as love for her. It seemed as though she hated me and wanted to hurt me, but I was as pleasant as I could be and she answered all the countless questions in a calm indifferent manner. I had failed. I could not get through to her. She could not see the agony I had gone through because of her. It was my fault she was as she was. I had brought myself pain.
When we got home we watched television and it seemed as though nothing had happened at all. It was forgotten, pushed away out of sight. That night I prayed it would never happen again.