You must do everything possible to avoid being pulled into destructive relationships of your own making. You tend to identify love with pain, and thus you may pull a relationship into an unpleasant downward spiral, which nevertheless has certain erotic overtones.
This difficulty can be avoided in part by approaching a relationship more realistically. Your expectations of an affair tend to be so high that you can't possibly live up to them, and therefore you automatically experience failure and disappointment.
Instead, take love as it comes and enjoy it for what it is at the moment, without making any judgements, if possible.
By taking this view, you can gain fulfilment from a variety of results, not limiting your enjoyment to a single expected desire.