Here! Have one of my death cigarettes!’
1 David Andrews meets B J Cunnigham, a dedicated smoker who loyally puffs his own cigarettes called Death.
2 OK. So here are the facts. There’s an Englishman called B J Cunningham who has been smoking since he was eleven. He’s a chain smoker who’s in love with smoking. He smokes between two and three packs a day, and already, at the age of 30, has a weak chest. He was in hospital for six days when his lungs collapsed. ’It was at that point that I did actually give up cigarettes for six months.’ But then he returned to his true love. He wears black leather cowboy clothes and has fondness for classic Harley-Davidson motorbikes, which he has been riding for the past fifteen years. ’I’ve had about ten of them,’ he says coolly.
3 So far, not a very remarkable life. But then, B J Cunningham had an idea one night in a bar in LA. ‘Let’s market a cigarette called Death, ’he said to a business partner. ’Why?’, said the partner. It’s obvious, he explains to me. ‘When you take a packet of cigarettes out of your top packet an put it on the bar in front of you, you’re making a statement about yourself, exactly as you do with the clothes you wear, the music you like, and the newspaper you read. You’re saying “These cigarettes are a part of me”.’
4 ‘So, if you take out a packet of Benson and Hedges, you’re saying, I’m classy-gold packet-part of high society. If you take out a packet of Marlboro, you’re saying, I’m an outdoor type, I like wearing a cowboy hat and riding horses…’
5 ‘Now if you produce a packet of Death cigarettes’, he continues, ‘producing a packet of cigarettes to illustrate his point, what you’re saying is...’
He looks at me to make sure that I’m going to write down what you’re saying about yourself if you smoke Death cigarettes. But do I need to?’ We all know what Death cigarettes are about B J Cunningham has been telling us about them since he started his Enlightened Tobacco Company (ETC) in 1991.
6 Everyone has now got the joke, thank you very much. We’ve seen the black packets with their death’s head on the front and white packets which are called Death Lights; and we’ve heard about the coffin-shaped vending machines in pubs and clubs.
7 However, for anyone who has managed to avoid B J’s publicity, here goes. Death cigarettes are for the smoker who wants to say, ‘Yes, I’m killing myself, but at least I know it, and I smoke a brand which doesn’t try to hide the fact. Death cigarettes, concludes B J, say “Don’t you dare tell me to stop!”
8 B J Cunningham, now on his ninth cigarette of the interview, says he wants to expose the hypocrisy behind the tobacco industry. ‘Governments can’t afford to ban smoking because they receive huge amounts of money in tax. Tobacco companies try to improve their image by sponsoring sports events such as motor racing, rugby, football, cricket, and tennis, at vast expense. What everybody wants to forget is that smoking and death are linked.’
9 The ETC hoped to win a good share of the UK market. Cigarettes in Britain are a ₤ 12 billion industry in which four companies control 95% of the market. The question is: How do we get a share?’ He knows the question but he can’t afford the answer. The ETC can’t afford to advertise like the big companies. It has been losing about ₤ 1 million a year.
10 Personally, I have a very different opinion as to why so few people choose to smoke a brand of cigarette called Death. B J Cunningham has misunderstood human psychology. Of course smokers know that their habit is probably going to kill them, but they prefer not to think about it. The only people who are going to smoke his cigarettes are people like himself. When I offered one to a friend recently, his reaction was, ‘You must be joking. And this is what Death cigarettes are all about. It’s a joke that was funny, but isn’t funny any more.
11 But B J is still obsessed by fags. ‘Do you know the main reason I love my job? ’he says. ‘It’s because it gives me a chance to attack the anti-smoking killjoys! Those puritans who try to control our lives. I’ve met many people who don’t smoke, but who tell me that if smoking were made illegal, they would fight it. You just can’t have laws which control every aspect of the way people live.’
12 I finally started to warm to this character B J Cunningham. It was the end of the interview, and the number of fags ends in the ashtray had increased to fifteen. Perhaps he had something important to say after all. “Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m weird, and I’m killing myself!”