A Witch’s Solution to Break-Ins
So, my downstairs neighbor called me to let me know someone had tried to break into her apartment. I hate a thief… I really hate a thief. So, I think I’m going to put a sign on my door that reads:
THINKING ABOUT BREAKING IN?
CONSIDER THIS:
IF MY DOG DOESN’T EAT YOU/MAUL YOU/DESTROY YOU…
MY WITCHCRAFT WILL HAUNT YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
BLESSED BE, MOTHER FUCKER.
With a big pentagram on it.
Although I’m sure this would terrify the hell out of my Southern Baptist neighbors, I don’t care.
Stay safe, fellow Witches!