2. Accept potentially annoying traits or habits. Trying to change someone into what you want him or her to be often dooms a relationship to failure through suffocation. Let judgments soften, and allow limitations and vulnerabilities to be embraced: Do not reject parts of the whole person. It really is OK that she is mechanically challenged or that he is a klutz. Getting to know and accept the real-life (rather than idealized) person is a life-long process but essential to maintaining the magic.