The beautiful Thai woman: After I got your emails and read the one where you said you got the money and was down to your last 90 thb, I felt so relieved. I worry about you very much, more than I worry about myself many times. I worry about you and Devin because I can't control the good things in the future I want to happen you both. I don't know the future and can not control it they way I want it to go. I may be able to influence a future outcome. But, that is neither guaranteed or our desires a good thing just because we want things to come out the way we want.
My long distance relationship with you, and still too long distance relationship with my son, is teaching me a very difficult lesson: There's much I must let go because I have no power over it, nor, should I have power over what happens. It challenges my faith, to be just that - faith and hope and actions to still bring about good when needed, but, to understand how limited, finite, and dependent on the source of life of everything. In that I have been doing a lot more praying in my weakness to you, Devin, and others. We are all so fragile and life can be so hard.
Yet, your love is real and does have some effect for good outcomes in the future. I also think that praying for the good changes us. It helps us sort out first-what is good?-something I want - or something really needed? Then, what can I do to help in any small way, my little piece to influence a future, my tiny action that comes and goes. But, if it is done in love, and not self-love-but a real self-giving, then there's something authentic that changes the future of the loved and lover.
I'll get you some more money the same way in the next couple of days, the same amount.
Oh, I'll get my extension in around three weeks (180 day) and will be then able to open accounts where I can start up my direct deposit again for monthly income. Medical costs here are even cheaper than in Thailand and the quality of medical care is ranked high in the world (not like Cuba though based on their system), I could soon be in a new apartment that's clean and everything I need (I'll let you know about that outcome) - I'd loose only a little money by moving out of my place early - but, by getting into the current place, I saved a lot of money by not staying in a hotel or hostel and looking for a place from there, so it evens out.
Don't worry about me as I'm adapting even without the machine and my orthopedic doctor said he could refer me to a sleep specialist if needed. I'm not paralyzed (I get close sometimes) mentally where I can't try to do stuff myself to change my situation. I care enough to get help and find out where to get it. I'll be alright. And my residency will come through or they would not allow me to even apply and go through the 180 visa process.
That means someone can come and visit me. I can cook for them and take care of them. And, if I get a little part-time source of income where I could go to the states 2-3 times a year and include Thailand every year for awhile - just thinking out loud.
Just to let you know that I live like a monk without a monastery. I fine with that at this stage of life because my final love is in Thailand.
I miss you very, very, much.
love
ผู้หญิงไทยสวย: หลังจากได้รับอีเมล์ของคุณ และอ่านได้ที่คุณว่า คุณมีเงิน และที่ลงล่าสุด 90 บาทของคุณ ฉันรู้สึกเบาดังนั้นการ ฉันกังวลเกี่ยวกับคุณมาก มากกว่าฉันกังวลเกี่ยวกับตัวเองหลายครั้ง ฉันกังวลเกี่ยวกับ Devin เนื่องจากผมไม่สามารถควบคุมสิ่งดีในอนาคตอยากให้คุณทั้งสอง ผมไม่รู้อนาคต และสามารถควบคุมมันที่ทางผมต้องการไป ฉันอาจจะมีผลต่อผลลัพธ์ในอนาคต แต่ นั่นคือไม่มีรับประกัน หรือเราปรารถนาสิ่งดีเพียง เพราะเราต้องการสิ่งออกแบบเราต้องการความสัมพันธ์ของฉันห่างกับคุณ และความสัมพันธ์ยังเกินไปไกลกับลูก จะสอนบทเรียนยาก: มีมากมายที่ฉันต้องปล่อย เพราะฉันไม่มีอำนาจเหนือ หรือ ฉันควรมีอำนาจเหนือสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น มันท้าทายความเชื่อของฉัน เป็นเพียงที่ - ความเชื่อ และความหวัง และการดำเนินการที่ยังคงนำ เกี่ยวกับดีเมื่อจำเป็น แต่ เข้าใจวิธีจำกัด จำกัด และขึ้นอยู่กับแหล่งที่มาของชีวิตทุกอย่าง ที่ฉันได้ถูกทำอธิษฐานมากในจุดอ่อนของฉันเพื่อคุณ Devin และอื่น ๆ เรามีทั้งหมดดังนั้นเปราะบาง และชีวิตจะยากดังนั้นYet, your love is real and does have some effect for good outcomes in the future. I also think that praying for the good changes us. It helps us sort out first-what is good?-something I want - or something really needed? Then, what can I do to help in any small way, my little piece to influence a future, my tiny action that comes and goes. But, if it is done in love, and not self-love-but a real self-giving, then there's something authentic that changes the future of the loved and lover.I'll get you some more money the same way in the next couple of days, the same amount.Oh, I'll get my extension in around three weeks (180 day) and will be then able to open accounts where I can start up my direct deposit again for monthly income. Medical costs here are even cheaper than in Thailand and the quality of medical care is ranked high in the world (not like Cuba though based on their system), I could soon be in a new apartment that's clean and everything I need (I'll let you know about that outcome) - I'd loose only a little money by moving out of my place early - but, by getting into the current place, I saved a lot of money by not staying in a hotel or hostel and looking for a place from there, so it evens out. Don't worry about me as I'm adapting even without the machine and my orthopedic doctor said he could refer me to a sleep specialist if needed. I'm not paralyzed (I get close sometimes) mentally where I can't try to do stuff myself to change my situation. I care enough to get help and find out where to get it. I'll be alright. And my residency will come through or they would not allow me to even apply and go through the 180 visa process.That means someone can come and visit me. I can cook for them and take care of them. And, if I get a little part-time source of income where I could go to the states 2-3 times a year and include Thailand every year for awhile - just thinking out loud.Just to let you know that I live like a monk without a monastery. I fine with that at this stage of life because my final love is in Thailand.I miss you very, very, much.love
การแปล กรุณารอสักครู่..
