Your 12-year-old daughter is delighted. She got an A-minus in maths, second prize in a history competition, and top marks in her piano exam. Do you a) say Well done!, give her a hug, and tell her she doesn't need to practise the piano today, and can go to a friend's house, or b) ask why she didn't get an A in maths, why she didn't get first prize in the history exam, and tell her she'll be punished if she doesn't do her piano practice? If you chose a), you are definitely not Amy Chua.