Learning to recognize when one needs help and to identify good sources of
help are critical self-regulation skills. By leaning in and quietly
suggesting that Lucy ask Tricia, Melissa hinted about
where to get help and continued to cue Lucy to remain
calm. Melissa also modeled for Tricia how to give appropriate
hints and cues. Tricia then imitated Melissa’s behavior,
and coached Lucy to success.
Younger children may need more explicit hints and cues.
Cuing children to hold their hands or put them in their
pockets helps them regulate impulses to touch, grab, or
hit. Key phrases such as “look here,” “look at me,” or “look
where I am pointing” are explicit cues teachers can use
to help young children focus their attention. Beginning in
infancy, teachers can help children recognize and name
their emotions by calmly saying to frustrated or angry
babies and toddlers, “You sound angry” or “I wonder if
you’re frustrated,” and then cuing them to start self-calming
by using gentle touch and saying, “Let’s relax” or “I’m here
to help you.” As children begin to use language, adults can
provide cues about when and how to ask for help, when to
take a break, or when to try a different strategy.