A Perfectionist is concerned with being good, correcting error, doing what one should, and getting things right.
They have an active inner voice that guides them to do the right thing. But this inner voice is critical and overbearing, and it tends to produce inner tension, guilt, and worry. In its wake, pleasure gets dampened. Personal needs are not recognized or voiced. A sense of deprivation can result.
The focus on what is “good” and “right” gets put out into relationships. The strong sense of “it should be this way” voiced by the Perfectionist — in the interest of what seems right — makes it look like there’s only one way of doing things, their way.
The other person generally does not like this, and may end up feeling like they are walking on egg-shells. In their “rightness” the Perfectionist seems to be superior, while the other person feels picked apart, rejected, hurt, inferior.
There is a tendency to be overly black and white about things. This creates stress and a sense of trying to be in control. It also reduces happiness. People in relationship with a Perfectionist often wish things could just be more relaxed and easy. They yearn for a more flexible approach to things.
Personal growth for a Perfectionist is to internally ask the question: “Would I rather be right — or happy?” It will help to see and question what seem to be rigid rules. Learn to accept mistakes. Recognize that there are different ways of doing things besides the one “right” way. Two great virtues for a Perfectionist to develop are patience and compassion. True serenity is gained by accepting things as they are, even what appear to be “imperfections.