If the mother, for example, expresses disapproval every time an infant drops an object out of the crib, the infant eventually comes to disapprove of himself or herself for behaving in that way. External standards of judgment have become personalized, and the child, in a sense, punishes herself or herself as the mother did earlier. The child loves himself or only as the mother did earlier. The child loves himself or herself only when he or she behaves in ways known to bring the mother's approval. Thus the self comes to function as a mother- surrogate.