I'm losing my best friend.
As I write this I have tears streaming down my face as it breaks my heart to say and truly
accept that tonight is my last night with my little girl.
My last night as only I know it. There are 3 of us in my little special family. My boyfriend,
myself, and our dog Timber, our world as we love it.
Timber is only 7 and was diagnosed with cancer a month ago today and everyday since I
heard the vet mutter the scariest words for any dog owner I have done everything I could in
my power to defy what will be happening tomorrow.
In this moment I desperately wish I could be a kid again and that my Mum could make this all
go away and tell me that my dog is going to play on a farm and I would believe her…but I
can't. I have to process what is happening to my little girl and to say this is heartbreaking is an
understatement.
I find it incomprehensible to put in to words the fear and anxiety that has riddled every bone
inside me since I learnt the possibility that she will be leaving us sooner that we had ever
imagined. In fact I'd actually never imagined a world without her as that was far to painful for
my mind to even play with for a second. Its a world I never wanted to exist in. Our dream was
that our kids would one day meet Timber.
My world has always been a little strange to me, my boyfriend is an actor which therefore
ensues the craziest of worlds and a lifestyle with highs and lows. My best friends and my
family are often on the other side of the world to us whilst we travel for work but what has
always been constant during any rollercoaster I've stepped on is Timber, she comes
everywhere with us. Throughout all the chaos she's made everywhere we go a home. She is
our number one priority. Its Timber… and then the world.
The love that encompasses inside me for Timber is so overwhelming it literally feels like I
could burst open at any point and little hearts would be flying around. Our bond as two girls is
so strong, so loyal and so sacred, a relationship and companionship like no other.
Timber is such a special dog with such an intelligent and beautiful soul. She is a magical
being and the strongest part of the thread that bounds us all together. She came in to my life
the day my Grandma passed away who was like a second Mum to me. Tina Fox the most
extraordinary Grandma I could ever of wished for left me as Timber Felton walked in. Some
part of me has always felt like she was my earth angel that my Grandma sent to heal me from
her loss.
Every morning when I wake up, Timber greets me with endless amounts of joy and love and
energy. I truly feel like the luckiest person in the world.
I could never of dreamed of the impact she would have when she came in to my life. I can't
imagine a higher high than being around her. For 6 years coming home to her has been like
winning the lottery every time you open the door and this rush of love and spirit and
excitement greets you. As any dog owner can tell you there is no other bond like it in the
world.
She is a person in another form. A lighthouse of love.
Our little brown pup has infiltrated my entire life, she has constantly been there as we've
transitioned from one chapter of ours lives to the next, as people and as a couple. When we
were sad she comforted us. When we were happy she made us even happier. She spun the
most magical web in to my life that I didn't even believe was possible.Now I lay in bed with her in between us knowing that I can't selfishly keep her alive for just
one more day to delay the pain of losing her. My head inside is screaming with panic that this
really is our last night and somehow I have to come to terms with that. To think that I have
only hours left with my sweet sweet loyal confidante burns so deep inside that I have to turn
the switch off and live in the moment until I can't turn that switch of anymore. I hope I don't
sleep tonight so I can savour every moment I can, as a stroke her soft coat and ingest the
smell of her which I'm so terrified of forgetting.
I know that when the time comes tomorrow, it will be absolutely unbearable but Timber will die
at home in our arms where she belongs and I will be thankful for her for the rest of my life…
nothing changed me more than Timber did.
She stole my heart and I want her to keep it…
I owe a debt to Timber.
I'm losing my best friend.
As I write this I have tears streaming down my face as it breaks my heart to say and truly
accept that tonight is my last night with my little girl.
My last night as only I know it. There are 3 of us in my little special family. My boyfriend,
myself, and our dog Timber, our world as we love it.
Timber is only 7 and was diagnosed with cancer a month ago today and everyday since I
heard the vet mutter the scariest words for any dog owner I have done everything I could in
my power to defy what will be happening tomorrow.
In this moment I desperately wish I could be a kid again and that my Mum could make this all
go away and tell me that my dog is going to play on a farm and I would believe her…but I
can't. I have to process what is happening to my little girl and to say this is heartbreaking is an
understatement.
I find it incomprehensible to put in to words the fear and anxiety that has riddled every bone
inside me since I learnt the possibility that she will be leaving us sooner that we had ever
imagined. In fact I'd actually never imagined a world without her as that was far to painful for
my mind to even play with for a second. Its a world I never wanted to exist in. Our dream was
that our kids would one day meet Timber.
My world has always been a little strange to me, my boyfriend is an actor which therefore
ensues the craziest of worlds and a lifestyle with highs and lows. My best friends and my
family are often on the other side of the world to us whilst we travel for work but what has
always been constant during any rollercoaster I've stepped on is Timber, she comes
everywhere with us. Throughout all the chaos she's made everywhere we go a home. She is
our number one priority. Its Timber… and then the world.
The love that encompasses inside me for Timber is so overwhelming it literally feels like I
could burst open at any point and little hearts would be flying around. Our bond as two girls is
so strong, so loyal and so sacred, a relationship and companionship like no other.
Timber is such a special dog with such an intelligent and beautiful soul. She is a magical
being and the strongest part of the thread that bounds us all together. She came in to my life
the day my Grandma passed away who was like a second Mum to me. Tina Fox the most
extraordinary Grandma I could ever of wished for left me as Timber Felton walked in. Some
part of me has always felt like she was my earth angel that my Grandma sent to heal me from
her loss.
Every morning when I wake up, Timber greets me with endless amounts of joy and love and
energy. I truly feel like the luckiest person in the world.
I could never of dreamed of the impact she would have when she came in to my life. I can't
imagine a higher high than being around her. For 6 years coming home to her has been like
winning the lottery every time you open the door and this rush of love and spirit and
excitement greets you. As any dog owner can tell you there is no other bond like it in the
world.
She is a person in another form. A lighthouse of love.
Our little brown pup has infiltrated my entire life, she has constantly been there as we've
transitioned from one chapter of ours lives to the next, as people and as a couple. When we
were sad she comforted us. When we were happy she made us even happier. She spun the
most magical web in to my life that I didn't even believe was possible.Now I lay in bed with her in between us knowing that I can't selfishly keep her alive for just
one more day to delay the pain of losing her. My head inside is screaming with panic that this
really is our last night and somehow I have to come to terms with that. To think that I have
only hours left with my sweet sweet loyal confidante burns so deep inside that I have to turn
the switch off and live in the moment until I can't turn that switch of anymore. I hope I don't
sleep tonight so I can savour every moment I can, as a stroke her soft coat and ingest the
smell of her which I'm so terrified of forgetting.
I know that when the time comes tomorrow, it will be absolutely unbearable but Timber will die
at home in our arms where she belongs and I will be thankful for her for the rest of my life…
nothing changed me more than Timber did.
She stole my heart and I want her to keep it…
I owe a debt to Timber.
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