You may find it difficult to respond confidently to your lover, not knowing exactly what he or she wants or how to go about it.
You will gain a great deal by making your needs known to each other clearly and verbally, specifying what they are and when they occur so that there will be no mistake about it.
You find a new partner harder to work with, because you do not know all the ins and outs of his or her needs and do not feel free to express your needs verbally. Thus, you tend to hang on to an old relationship, where you are more sure of your ground. This attitude will help you through rough spots in an affair. On the other hand, it can also cause you to cling to a truly unworkable relationship.