resolve the question of who or what was responsible
for the alcoholism. Beyond this general observation,
however, there was great variation in which particular
members mainly felt these emotions. While in
some families the alcoholic felt both shame and guilt,
in others the non-alcoholic spouse felt these emotions
strongly and the alcoholic did not. Furthermore, the
relative emphasis on these emotional responses often
depends on the drinking status of the alcoholic
parent. For example, there was a strong tendency for
the alcoholic to feel guilt while drinking, but those
feelings would gradually dissipate upon cessation
from drinking. In contrast, a non-alcoholic spouse
might lay blame on the alcoholic spouse only during
the drinking period. And children--once they became
aware of the parent's drinking--often would be
ashamed of the parent's behavior while drinking, but
lose this sense of shame during abstinence. While it
was more often the case that the alcoholic parent
would feel both guilt and shame while drinking, some
seemed to think that their families overreacted: "My
wife has a tendency to be an alarmist ... As unreasonable
as I was about my drinking, you could make
a fair case that she was equally unreasonable in
overreacting." In short, the specific patterns of
shame, blame and guilt with regard to attribution of
responsibility for alcoholism in these families are
tremendously variable.