I wrote this in a few hours total and put little effort into it because it's due very soon. I'd just like for someone to tell me if I made any mistakes or if it's just generally bad for a 10th grade essay. I'm also trying to remove all contractions (they're, don't, etc.) and I'm looking for parallelism mistakes. I ran into some trouble with the conclusion because I honestly have no idea how to form a good conclusion to anything besides a fiction narrative.