From this point, I wasn't even able to stomach looking at myself.
I do not intend to justify my actions; it was just something that I did.
This situation of losing my last refuge of escapism put me between a rock and a hard place; this situation suddenly threw me unprepared into the depths of reality.
Everyone wants to have one or two places to escape himself or herself.
Though I have regrets, I however, am not being blamed.