In this moment, notice the impact on yourself. What are you doing or not doing? What are you saying or not saying? How are you acting? What effect are your words and actions having?
Below the waterline. What are you thinking and feeling but not expressing? What negative outcomes are you most worried about?
Deeper still, look at your values and beliefs. What is most important to you? What belief do you hold about this situation, about yourself, and about others?
Even deeper, examine your underlying needs. What is at stake for you here? Are you aware of any deeper desires and needs?