Imo, all of the vampires, at least the high ranking ones that were introduced to us, do precisely that in varying degrees, that is, try to fight against their own mindless animal lust for blood by occupying themselves or obsessing with something else. The degree varies, from small things to big, be it, for instance, Horn trying to always act like a lady, or Lest Kerr and his obsession with ruling the world.
Surprisingly, Ferid is the prime example here. He forces himself to be interested in many things, even if in truth he’s not interested in anything, otherwise he will be a complete emotional blank, and he does all of that elaborate scheming and challenging and whatnot for the sake of feeling at least fleeting thrills. He pretty much does everything you described, except that he doesn’t try to remember the “good” emotions like sympathy or affection, but those that are more… selfish and dark.
Also, it should be noted that vampires apparently loathe humans precisely for their overboard emotions, like endless greed, so they all are pretty much hypocrites, detesting emotions yet trying to hold onto at least some of them. I doubt many of them are capable of admitting at least to themselves that they want to remember how to feel. As such, they have to deceive their own selves even when trying to expose themselves to emotional content because they just can’t approach the problem with sincerity which twists them further. Well, all of this is just my opinion, of course.
Imo, all of the vampires, at least the high ranking ones that were introduced to us, do precisely that in varying degrees, that is, try to fight against their own mindless animal lust for blood by occupying themselves or obsessing with something else. The degree varies, from small things to big, be it, for instance, Horn trying to always act like a lady, or Lest Kerr and his obsession with ruling the world. Surprisingly, Ferid is the prime example here. He forces himself to be interested in many things, even if in truth he’s not interested in anything, otherwise he will be a complete emotional blank, and he does all of that elaborate scheming and challenging and whatnot for the sake of feeling at least fleeting thrills. He pretty much does everything you described, except that he doesn’t try to remember the “good” emotions like sympathy or affection, but those that are more… selfish and dark.Also, it should be noted that vampires apparently loathe humans precisely for their overboard emotions, like endless greed, so they all are pretty much hypocrites, detesting emotions yet trying to hold onto at least some of them. I doubt many of them are capable of admitting at least to themselves that they want to remember how to feel. As such, they have to deceive their own selves even when trying to expose themselves to emotional content because they just can’t approach the problem with sincerity which twists them further. Well, all of this is just my opinion, of course.
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