When I was young and something bad happened to me – I failed an exam, I lost a football match, my cat died, someone stole my bicycle – my dad never criticized me or said I was stupid if I cried. He didn’t say, ‘ It doesn’t matter ’ or ‘ forget about it ’ . He said, ‘ Put it down to experience ’ . It was a gook expression and I thank my dad for it . ‘ Put it down to experience ’ means ‘ think about everything that happens – both good and bad – as a useful experience ’ . Negative experiences matter and it’s not stupid to feel bad or sad. You need to remember them so you don’t repeat mistakes, but you also need to continue to enjoy life and be open to new experiences.