Chapter 0: Be that as it may, that room continues to enact its unending every day[edit]
The wind was tapping against the window. With the sea nearby and the lack of tall buildings in the area, the wind continued blowing against the building without dying out.
The sound attracted my attention as I reflexively looked outside the window.
The trees with dropping leaves trembled and clouds of dust floated in the dry wind. The scattered passers-by rose up their colors and sporadic passers-by had the collars of their coats stretched up and their shoulders ducked in as they walked.
Winter had finally made its way to this school as well. Even though the same season was supposed to have come last year, I never knew how cold this blowing wind was.
Mingled in the noise of the wind were several voices.
“See, it’s like super dry right now right? So when Yumiko brought in a small humidifier, it was really puffing during class. And like recently, the USJ… USA? Or whatever, can give you electricity. You know, that thing!”
Yuigahama would mix in body and hand gestures while casually moving her body as she energetically talked. Yukinoshita would look at her with a smile and nod responsively to her.
“I see. That must be convenient.”
Yukinoshita normally wasn’t the talkative type, so a short response like that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. But that smile was something I just couldn’t look directly at.
I slowly removed my gaze from the floor. Ahead of me were Yuigahama’s feet which turned in my direction.
“I know right! So I thought maybe we could get one for the room. Right, Hikki? …Hikki?”
It was likely her entire body was facing my way. Yuigahama asked me again, prompting me for a reply. Because I was absorbed in my own thoughts, my response was slightly late. To fill up that gap, after I intentionally let out a resigned sigh, I answered.
“…I’m listening. It’s USB. Why do we need to get electricity from an American place like that?”
“Ah, that’s it!”
Yuigahama clapped her hands and answered. And without waiting for neither my or Yukinoshita’s response, she quickly continued.
“Cellphones nowadays can be charged by connecting to that USB thing or whatever, it’s like super convenient, see~. And like recently, my battery tends to die out really fast too!”
Yuigahama continued the conversation and after that, she jumped to a topic about the new cellphone models.
Thanks to that, the conversation carried on without so much as a pause. However, only her words had continuity as the topic and the things that should have been at the heart of those words didn’t.
But was it because of the trees that peeked in from outside of the window, shaken by the freezing wind that I thought it looked like a drift ice from afar? If I took one step off the right path, it felt like I would sink deep into the depths.
Although the room didn’t have a calendar, I didn’t need to check to see what the date was. Checking the date slightly resembled counting down the remaining years of your life.
We were already halfway into December. Just a little over two weeks and it would be the New Year. This year was going to end.
Everything would end and you wouldn’t be able to take them back to those days.
As you gazed at the setting sun, you also became conscious of the year coming to an end.
Of course, the sun had set up until now and the year had gone by in the same way. If you asked if the sun of today was different from the sun of yesterday, the answer would be no. In the end, they were really the same thing. It’s just that only the conscious of those who looked at it had changed.
I, no, us. We most certainly had noticed what was remaining there and that’s why even the commonplace setting sun was something we had feelings of sentiment for.
But in the flowing of time, this room was the only place where time was frozen.
Ever since the student council election, not a single thing had changed as we spent time in this room. As we continued with conversations that felt out of place which could only be called emptiness and the time we spent was as if we were walking on thin ice.
“I was just thinking how cold it is, but that reminds me of something else. Like how it’s almost Christmas and all…”
Yuigahama once again diverged into another topic.
Both I and Yukinoshita participated in the conversation with hollow answers like “it’s cold”, “it sure has gotten cold”, “tomorrow’s going to be even colder”. But noticing that it wasn’t going any further than that, Yuigahama energetically pitched forward.
“Ah! Why don’t we ask Hiratsuka-sensei to add something like a stove to the room!?”
“I think that might be a little difficult.”
Yukinoshita wasn’t perturbed in the least by Yuigahama’s vigor as she gently showed a strained smiled.
“In that person’s case, I’m sure she’d want a reward for herself first.”
Then again, I got the feeling she’d prioritize making a present herself for someone instead. Someone take her already, seriously.
When both of us responded dispiritedly, Yuigahama became disheartened as well.
“I see… I guess so.”
Yuigahama’s shoulders dropped slightly with a look of dejection.
Was it like the feeling where a chain of downward slopes had ended?
Both I and Yukinoshita were originally the quiet types so there weren’t any topics we could casually bring up. That’s why, lately, Yuigahama had been the one leading most of the conversations.
Usually, all the topics were primarily casual and harmless ones. They were rather intricate ways to kill time.
I thought Yuigahama had gotten better than before at looking for ways to prolong a conversation.
No, that might be a bit wrong.
It was probably before she had joined the Service Club that she was good at this. It was her ability that she had cultivated to this day, the ability to read the mood, fill up the silence, and to superficially smooth over things as if it was nothing.
This may have been similar to how I would open a book only to not read it.
The lines of sentences and the time continued. Ignoring things while mingling in the conversation, I casually looked at the clock.
If today went the same way as the few days before, then it was almost about time for Yukinoshita to suggest going home.
As if everyone had perceived that, Yuigahama looked up at the sky from the window.
“It’s gotten pretty dark, huh?”
“…I suppose so. Shall we call it a day?”
With Yuigahama’s words as a signal, Yukinoshita closed her book and placed it in her bag. Both of us did the same, making the preparations to go home, and stood up.
As soon as the light was switched, the room was instantly shrouded in darkness. We left the room and ahead of us was the continuing darkness. We walked wordlessly down the hallway submerged in silence and made it outside from the front entrance.
The sun had already set and leaking from the school building were unreliable, flickering lights. The afterglow didn’t illuminate past the shadow of the school building either. The side which we were standing on was already submerged in the dark of the night.
“Okay, I’ll be taking the bus!”
“Yeah.”
As I responded to Yuigahama who loudly proclaimed as she raised her hand, I turned in the direction of the bike parking area. And the remaining one, Yukinoshita, watched us off and said her parting words.
“Yes, good bye.”
Because of the dark, I couldn’t see her face very well. However, it was probably that smile she was making. Yukinoshita quietly readjusted her bag and straightened out the muffler at her collar. That calm demeanor of hers gave off the image that she didn’t look any different from before.
“See you.”
When I answered with a short reply, I averted my eyes from Yukinoshita and hurried for the bike area.
But no matter how hard I tried to not look, that expression of hers would float right back in my head and wouldn’t disappear.
That smile that had not changed since that day.
I strongly pedaled away on my bike to drive that away.
You get used to it, you act friendly, and you become a shell of your former self.
Eventually, this situation called every day would get packaged and be sent to the depths of your memories and you undoubtedly would try to justify calling it a memory.
Time was the medicine to everything or so they say.
But that was wrong. Time was nothing but a slow inducing poison. It was something meant to end things and get you to give up on things, slowly eroding away the things of the past.
As I flew to downtown with my bike, the illumination that decorated all the houses caught my eye. As Yuigahama said, Christmas was almost here.
Back when I was smaller, I recognized it only as a day where I could receive the presents that I wanted. Well, it was something like a lesser version of a birthday.
However, that was different now. I was no longer a small child and there weren’t any presents prepared.
Above all else.
All the things I wished for and wanted, I no longer have them.
And surely enough, I wasn’t even allowed to desire anything.
Chapter 0: Be that as it may, that room continues to enact its unending every day[edit]
The wind was tapping against the window. With the sea nearby and the lack of tall buildings in the area, the wind continued blowing against the building without dying out.
The sound attracted my attention as I reflexively looked outside the window.
The trees with dropping leaves trembled and clouds of dust floated in the dry wind. The scattered passers-by rose up their colors and sporadic passers-by had the collars of their coats stretched up and their shoulders ducked in as they walked.
Winter had finally made its way to this school as well. Even though the same season was supposed to have come last year, I never knew how cold this blowing wind was.
Mingled in the noise of the wind were several voices.
“See, it’s like super dry right now right? So when Yumiko brought in a small humidifier, it was really puffing during class. And like recently, the USJ… USA? Or whatever, can give you electricity. You know, that thing!”
Yuigahama would mix in body and hand gestures while casually moving her body as she energetically talked. Yukinoshita would look at her with a smile and nod responsively to her.
“I see. That must be convenient.”
Yukinoshita normally wasn’t the talkative type, so a short response like that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. But that smile was something I just couldn’t look directly at.
I slowly removed my gaze from the floor. Ahead of me were Yuigahama’s feet which turned in my direction.
“I know right! So I thought maybe we could get one for the room. Right, Hikki? …Hikki?”
It was likely her entire body was facing my way. Yuigahama asked me again, prompting me for a reply. Because I was absorbed in my own thoughts, my response was slightly late. To fill up that gap, after I intentionally let out a resigned sigh, I answered.
“…I’m listening. It’s USB. Why do we need to get electricity from an American place like that?”
“Ah, that’s it!”
Yuigahama clapped her hands and answered. And without waiting for neither my or Yukinoshita’s response, she quickly continued.
“Cellphones nowadays can be charged by connecting to that USB thing or whatever, it’s like super convenient, see~. And like recently, my battery tends to die out really fast too!”
Yuigahama continued the conversation and after that, she jumped to a topic about the new cellphone models.
Thanks to that, the conversation carried on without so much as a pause. However, only her words had continuity as the topic and the things that should have been at the heart of those words didn’t.
But was it because of the trees that peeked in from outside of the window, shaken by the freezing wind that I thought it looked like a drift ice from afar? If I took one step off the right path, it felt like I would sink deep into the depths.
Although the room didn’t have a calendar, I didn’t need to check to see what the date was. Checking the date slightly resembled counting down the remaining years of your life.
We were already halfway into December. Just a little over two weeks and it would be the New Year. This year was going to end.
Everything would end and you wouldn’t be able to take them back to those days.
As you gazed at the setting sun, you also became conscious of the year coming to an end.
Of course, the sun had set up until now and the year had gone by in the same way. If you asked if the sun of today was different from the sun of yesterday, the answer would be no. In the end, they were really the same thing. It’s just that only the conscious of those who looked at it had changed.
I, no, us. We most certainly had noticed what was remaining there and that’s why even the commonplace setting sun was something we had feelings of sentiment for.
But in the flowing of time, this room was the only place where time was frozen.
Ever since the student council election, not a single thing had changed as we spent time in this room. As we continued with conversations that felt out of place which could only be called emptiness and the time we spent was as if we were walking on thin ice.
“I was just thinking how cold it is, but that reminds me of something else. Like how it’s almost Christmas and all…”
Yuigahama once again diverged into another topic.
Both I and Yukinoshita participated in the conversation with hollow answers like “it’s cold”, “it sure has gotten cold”, “tomorrow’s going to be even colder”. But noticing that it wasn’t going any further than that, Yuigahama energetically pitched forward.
“Ah! Why don’t we ask Hiratsuka-sensei to add something like a stove to the room!?”
“I think that might be a little difficult.”
Yukinoshita wasn’t perturbed in the least by Yuigahama’s vigor as she gently showed a strained smiled.
“In that person’s case, I’m sure she’d want a reward for herself first.”
Then again, I got the feeling she’d prioritize making a present herself for someone instead. Someone take her already, seriously.
When both of us responded dispiritedly, Yuigahama became disheartened as well.
“I see… I guess so.”
Yuigahama’s shoulders dropped slightly with a look of dejection.
Was it like the feeling where a chain of downward slopes had ended?
Both I and Yukinoshita were originally the quiet types so there weren’t any topics we could casually bring up. That’s why, lately, Yuigahama had been the one leading most of the conversations.
Usually, all the topics were primarily casual and harmless ones. They were rather intricate ways to kill time.
I thought Yuigahama had gotten better than before at looking for ways to prolong a conversation.
No, that might be a bit wrong.
It was probably before she had joined the Service Club that she was good at this. It was her ability that she had cultivated to this day, the ability to read the mood, fill up the silence, and to superficially smooth over things as if it was nothing.
This may have been similar to how I would open a book only to not read it.
The lines of sentences and the time continued. Ignoring things while mingling in the conversation, I casually looked at the clock.
If today went the same way as the few days before, then it was almost about time for Yukinoshita to suggest going home.
As if everyone had perceived that, Yuigahama looked up at the sky from the window.
“It’s gotten pretty dark, huh?”
“…I suppose so. Shall we call it a day?”
With Yuigahama’s words as a signal, Yukinoshita closed her book and placed it in her bag. Both of us did the same, making the preparations to go home, and stood up.
As soon as the light was switched, the room was instantly shrouded in darkness. We left the room and ahead of us was the continuing darkness. We walked wordlessly down the hallway submerged in silence and made it outside from the front entrance.
The sun had already set and leaking from the school building were unreliable, flickering lights. The afterglow didn’t illuminate past the shadow of the school building either. The side which we were standing on was already submerged in the dark of the night.
“Okay, I’ll be taking the bus!”
“Yeah.”
As I responded to Yuigahama who loudly proclaimed as she raised her hand, I turned in the direction of the bike parking area. And the remaining one, Yukinoshita, watched us off and said her parting words.
“Yes, good bye.”
Because of the dark, I couldn’t see her face very well. However, it was probably that smile she was making. Yukinoshita quietly readjusted her bag and straightened out the muffler at her collar. That calm demeanor of hers gave off the image that she didn’t look any different from before.
“See you.”
When I answered with a short reply, I averted my eyes from Yukinoshita and hurried for the bike area.
But no matter how hard I tried to not look, that expression of hers would float right back in my head and wouldn’t disappear.
That smile that had not changed since that day.
I strongly pedaled away on my bike to drive that away.
You get used to it, you act friendly, and you become a shell of your former self.
Eventually, this situation called every day would get packaged and be sent to the depths of your memories and you undoubtedly would try to justify calling it a memory.
Time was the medicine to everything or so they say.
But that was wrong. Time was nothing but a slow inducing poison. It was something meant to end things and get you to give up on things, slowly eroding away the things of the past.
As I flew to downtown with my bike, the illumination that decorated all the houses caught my eye. As Yuigahama said, Christmas was almost here.
Back when I was smaller, I recognized it only as a day where I could receive the presents that I wanted. Well, it was something like a lesser version of a birthday.
However, that was different now. I was no longer a small child and there weren’t any presents prepared.
Above all else.
All the things I wished for and wanted, I no longer have them.
And surely enough, I wasn’t even allowed to desire anything.
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