Since it was a painful situation, I think I was being quite selfish.
Rudeus never got angry, he continued to stay by my side.
Without saying a single word of sarcasm, he caressed my head, embraced my shoulders, and comforted me.
During those times he wouldn't do a single ecchi thing.
Even though he normally would do as he pleases, during just those times he would only touch my body as much as was needed.
I thought that being ecchi was his method of playfulness.
He might act like that on a normal basis in order to make us feel relieved.
That's how I thought.
He isn't thinking about just himself, but he was thinking about me as well.
I thought I had to become strong.
At least enough that I wouldn't get in Rudeus's way.
The only thing that I could do better than Rudeus was just waving a sword.
Just fighting.
Even in that, I'm still far from Ruijerd who became our ally.
If it was just the sword... but I can't win against Rudeus when he is using magic too.
Rudeus allowed me to gain experience.
I'm sure, if it was just Rudeus and Ruijerd, they could have defeated monsters in a simpler way, and they could have continued the journey in a simpler way without delay.
After thinking like that I felt like crying.
If Rudeus were to realize that, if he were to come to hate me along the way, he would leave me and return. That's how I thought.
Therefore, I desperately tried to get stronger.
I challenged Ruijerd for training and was defeated over and over.
Each time, I would hear Ruijerd say "Understand now?".
Each time, I would remember Ghyslaine's words.
Rational, that's right, it's rational.
There's rationality to the movements of a master.
If you see something stronger than yourself, first carefully observe them.
Ruijerd is strong, most likely stronger than Ghyslaine.
That's why I was watching.
Nothing but looking at his movements, trying to imitate it until I was able to do it.
Ruijerd helped me to become stronger.
All night long after Rudeus gets tired and falls asleep, without making an unpleasant face, he accompanied me with my training.
I did intensive training as well.
As if it was the most obvious thing, Ruijerd would beat me down.
For him who likes children, beating me down should have been something painful.
In regards to me, Ruijerd is already an existence I can call shisho.
One year after we started our journey.
I thought I had become strong.
I felt like I understood I was different from those days when Ghyslaine would say with a sour face, "rational-rational".
While training with Ruijerd I understood the true meaning of rational.
The movements of my body that were always fine being made up on the spot until now, every bit of them suddenly had a meaning to their existence.
I finally understood the meaning of the feints that I thought were crafty and the nonchalant pre-emptive attacks up until now.
Then one day, I managed to land my first hit on Ruijerd.
If I think about it now, it seems like he was distracted by some other matter.
However, in regards to me, those kinds of gaps didn't matter at all.
I managed to take my first hit off him.
Since it was a painful situation, I think I was being quite selfish.
Rudeus never got angry, he continued to stay by my side.
Without saying a single word of sarcasm, he caressed my head, embraced my shoulders, and comforted me.
During those times he wouldn't do a single ecchi thing.
Even though he normally would do as he pleases, during just those times he would only touch my body as much as was needed.
I thought that being ecchi was his method of playfulness.
He might act like that on a normal basis in order to make us feel relieved.
That's how I thought.
He isn't thinking about just himself, but he was thinking about me as well.
I thought I had to become strong.
At least enough that I wouldn't get in Rudeus's way.
The only thing that I could do better than Rudeus was just waving a sword.
Just fighting.
Even in that, I'm still far from Ruijerd who became our ally.
If it was just the sword... but I can't win against Rudeus when he is using magic too.
Rudeus allowed me to gain experience.
I'm sure, if it was just Rudeus and Ruijerd, they could have defeated monsters in a simpler way, and they could have continued the journey in a simpler way without delay.
After thinking like that I felt like crying.
If Rudeus were to realize that, if he were to come to hate me along the way, he would leave me and return. That's how I thought.
Therefore, I desperately tried to get stronger.
I challenged Ruijerd for training and was defeated over and over.
Each time, I would hear Ruijerd say "Understand now?".
Each time, I would remember Ghyslaine's words.
Rational, that's right, it's rational.
There's rationality to the movements of a master.
If you see something stronger than yourself, first carefully observe them.
Ruijerd is strong, most likely stronger than Ghyslaine.
That's why I was watching.
Nothing but looking at his movements, trying to imitate it until I was able to do it.
Ruijerd helped me to become stronger.
All night long after Rudeus gets tired and falls asleep, without making an unpleasant face, he accompanied me with my training.
I did intensive training as well.
As if it was the most obvious thing, Ruijerd would beat me down.
For him who likes children, beating me down should have been something painful.
In regards to me, Ruijerd is already an existence I can call shisho.
One year after we started our journey.
I thought I had become strong.
I felt like I understood I was different from those days when Ghyslaine would say with a sour face, "rational-rational".
While training with Ruijerd I understood the true meaning of rational.
The movements of my body that were always fine being made up on the spot until now, every bit of them suddenly had a meaning to their existence.
I finally understood the meaning of the feints that I thought were crafty and the nonchalant pre-emptive attacks up until now.
Then one day, I managed to land my first hit on Ruijerd.
If I think about it now, it seems like he was distracted by some other matter.
However, in regards to me, those kinds of gaps didn't matter at all.
I managed to take my first hit off him.
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