10. There are many types of friendships. There are those built on similar experiences, similar personalities, and so on, but there are also friendships in which two completely different personality types find each other. Discuss the dynamics involved when "opposites" attract. How is this a good thing?
TEN PARENT POINTERS
1. Because you know your child better than most of his teachers probably do, take the initiative in encouraging your child to share interesting things about himself with others. Remind him of things that he has done, achieved, visited, won, enjoyed, and so on.
2 Keep a log of funny family moments. You may not write down everything, but perhaps a photograph or note scribbled on a calendar will jog your memory. At the end of the year or on a birthday, review some of the highlights of the year and share a good laugh. 3. Have your child evaluate her own performance on a chore or task. Instead of saying, "You did a pretty good job, but you could have done better on this or that," ask her to tell you how she thinks she did and explain why, giving details that support this rating.
4. Children who view themselves as friendless and lonely need extra encouragement. Ask your child if he would like to have a friend join your family for an event (basketball game? picnic? movie? bowling?). Let him pick the person; don't try to force a friendship.
5. Give your child plenty of opportunities to make her own decisions, whether it is about what to wear, what activities she will do in what order, and what time she needs to get up in order to get to school or work on time. Sometimes a person cannot understand the true cost of a decision until as experienced the consequences.
6. if your child views himself as someone who is always right, proceed with caution and talk about reality. If he is convinced that he is the best basketball player but can't catch a ball, he will be in for some disappointments when team tryouts come around. Talk about some things that he truly is right about and give evidence for that as well. ("You aren't the best singer, but look at the ribbons you won in 4H for your art! What do you think about that?")
7 . When your child's friends do come over, show a sincere interest in them without prying or trying to be "their friend." (This can be embarrassing!) However, let these people know that you are there and are available as another voice in their lives. Sometimes other people's children find it easier to talk to a friend's parent than to their own.
8. if your child struggles with negative peer pressure, reaffirm your family's values and expectations. Be clear with your child about what you expect of her in terms of school, leisure time, home responsibilities, and so on. Families have different sets of rules and expectations. It might not be a question of right or wrong, but simply the idea that "this is what our family does."
9. Encourage your child to be physically active if possible. Limit the amount of time he is playing video games, watching TV, or staring at the computer. Emphasize healthy food, healthy habits, and a healthy lifestyle to help your child feel good about himself and just plain feel good!
10. Be careful about the labels that you (maybe inadvertently) place on your child. Perhaps you feel that your child really is lazy, opinionated, a genius, obese, timid, the most popular kid on earth. What we hear often enough, we tend to believe. Help your child's self-concept along by praising when you can, being realistic when you need to be, and thinking about the labels you want to place on your child.
Chapter 2: Skills for Self-Improvement