After saying that, Sylphy is scratching behind her ears again.
And she adds to that [But the life I have now is the one I had dreamed about my whole life, so … if possible I'd like to stick with Rudi.]
Sylphy seems to be thinking that what she is saying is a selfish thing.
She thinks she used my good will to gain something that normally would not be allowed(possible), and because of that, she's trying her best to become the woman I love.
Though there is no way that's true.