The teenager's quest to become independent is a normal part of development. The parent should not see it as a rejection or loss of control over the child. Parents need to be constant and consistent. They should be available as a sounding board for the youth's ideas, without dominating the child's newly independent identity.
Although adolescents always challenge authority figures, they need or want limits, which provide a safe boundary for them to grow and function. Limit-setting means having pre-set rules and regulations about their behavior.
Power struggles begin when authority is at stake or "being right" is the main issue. These situations should be avoided, if possible. One of the parties (typically the teen) will be overpowered, causing the youth to lose face. This can cause the adolescent to feel embarrassed, inadequate, resentful, and bitter.
Parents should be ready for and recognize common conflicts that may develop while parenting adolescents. The experience may be affected by unresolved issues from the parent's own childhood, or from the adolescent's early years.
Parents should know that their adolescents will repeatedly challenge their authority. Keeping open lines of communication and clear, yet negotiable, limits or boundaries may help reduce major conflicts.
Most parents feel like they have more wisdom and self-growth as they rise to the challenges of parenting adolescents.