Modify Properly to Add Emphasis and Clarity
Adverbs, adjectives, and prepositional phrases are among the ways to
modify words and phrases in business writing. They can add important
or interesting details. But they can also be confusing.
Adverbs May Weaken Verbs
Instead of adding words and phrases that modify verbs, it’s often better
to select the most exact verb. Choosing an on-target verb adds impact
to the sentence and may eliminate an unneeded adverb. In the following
examples, note the effectiveness of choosing the precise verb.
The committee carefully considered the proposed reorganization.
The committee deliberated the proposed reorganization.
The word deliberated means “carefully considered.”
The negotiations quickly fell apart when the partner said no.
The negotiations collapsed when the partner said no.
Note that collapsed means “quickly fell apart.”
When you choose the most action-oriented verbs possible, you can
usually avoid adding unnecessary adverbs.
Adjectives May Diminish the Impact of Your Nouns
Likewise, adjectives often diminish the power of the nouns they modify.
Sometimes the modifying words or phrases distract the reader by
adding unnecessary information. For example, which of these two sentences
is stronger?
The hotel’s computerized fire alarm system will be tested on Tuesday.
The hotel’s fire alarm system will be tested on Tuesday.
The fact that the system is “computerized” may be relevant in some
contexts (in an application to win an insurance reduction because of