Rules of Connected Families
(from The Connected Child, page 136)
• A child may not dominate the family through tantrums, aggression, back talk, whining or any
other tactic.
• Parents are kind, fair and consistent; they stay calm and in control. They administer structure and
limits, but they also provide a great deal of nurturing, praise and affection.
• A child is encouraged to use words to express his or her needs directly and respectfully.
• Parents honor a child’s boundaries and respectfully listen to his or her needs and requests. They
never shame or ridicule a child’s perspective.
• Parents meet all reasonable needs and requests. They say, “Yes,” whenever they can. Occasionally
they allow a compromise, and at times they say, “No,” and deny requests.
• Parents respond to misbehavior immediately. They redirect the child to better choices, let him
or her practice getting it right and then praise their child for improvement. Once the conflict is
resolved, they return to playful and warm interactions with their child.