Many people which puts you in a no-win situation—you have been criticized but can’t respond as if you have been criticized. You are not free to defend yourself or counter the criticism. This not only allows the criticism to enter unabated, but it makes you feel that there is something wrong with you if you feel hurt or get defensive. The injury from the criticism is bad enough, but the sense that something is wrong with you for feeling or responding the way you do—that’s shame.