All of that was hard enough and now he wants to love me too. Day by day it's not so hard - you make choices always considering your child first. But you want to take your girlfriend out to dinner - you can't afford the cost or the time because your daughter comes first. I don't mind but I can see that he does. One Sunday, we all went to the park together. We were watching her play and interact with the other kids. He sat down next to me on a bench to talk. I might have rested my head on his shoulder. I noticed her body language change. She was listless, wandered away from the kids and sat down on the other side of the playground by herself. I stayed on the bench as he ran to her. I could see that she was crying and I knew that my presence had made her sad. She couldn't really verbalize it but I could empathize. I loved my father dearly and if my life had been different and I only had one day with him a week, I would not have wanted to spend it with yet another distraction no matter how much I liked her.
We seek balance in my interaction with her. We may go and see a movie and if she asks me to stay, I stay. Otherwise, hugs all around and I go about my afternoon. It is a slow process - it has to be because when it comes to his child, he can only make the most deliberative decisions.