Which brings us to a subject dear to every French person’s heart – food. As everyone knows, food was a French invention (along with sex, the guillotine and VAT) and eating is the national pastime (more important than sex, religion and politics combined). The French are voracious carnivores and eat anything that walks, runs, crawls, swims or flies. They’re particularly fond of all the nasty bits that civilised people reject including hoofs, ears, tails, brains, entrails and reproductive organs (the French are anything but squeamish). They also eat repulsive things such as snails and frogs’ legs. The French are also partial to barbecued British lamb, which they prefer cooked alive over the embers of a burning truck. A nation of animal lovers, the French are particularly fond of the tastier species such as horses and songbirds, which are usually eaten raw with garlic (it’s essential to develop a tolerance to garlic if you’re to live in France). The French have an ambivalent attitude towards animals and those they don’t pamper as pets are often treated abominably.