How to handle a tantrum?
Keep calm: Most of all, it is important that you remain calm when your host child has a tantrum. A very intense temper tantrum is not easy to watch. During a tantrum, a child will not see things clearly. It is better to just be at your host child’s side while he is going through all these emotions. Don’t give in. Don’t try to negotiate with your toddler.
Prevent a tantrum: To help prevent tantrums take as much of the frustration out of his world as possible. Make the home one where he can be fairly free. If you are always saying “no”, for example “No, don’t touch that.” or “No, don’t go in there.” or “No, don’t open that cupboard.” then he is bound to be frustrated and will lose self-confidence. Make sure to use age-appropriate toys, games and activities. If you use a puzzle that is made for a four-year old, the two-year old is going to get very frustrated. But if you provide toys that are designed for his level, then he will learn and will feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.
Watch for signs of stress: Watch for signs that a tantrum is coming. Children usually have tantrums because they are tired or frustrated. Watch the children in your care: Have they been indoors too long? Are they hungry? Is it nap time? Have there been lots of visitors? Most of the time, a tantrum is a response to the environment. Once you know your host children well, you can probably tell when they are getting tense. Have quiet activities in mind for those times.
Provide comfort: A toddler might get frightened by the power of his own tantrum. “How much power do I really have? Will someone protect me from myself?” When the tantrum subsides, he may need you for comfort and for reassurance that he is not a bad person just because he lost control. Sometimes you may need to gently stop the child if he is hurting himself, or another person, or breaking something. Hold his hand or feet gently but firmly. He will feel much better about himself later if he has not caused any damage.
Acknowledge the child’s feelings: A child needs to know that you understand his frustration but also that there are better ways to let out his anger. Young children will need your help finding words to express their frustration. Up to age eight children need help calming themselves down. Once the child has calmed down hold your host child and talk about what happened. Acknowledge his feelings, but also get him thinking about another way to let off steam. Say, “Boy, you were really mad, Carlos. It’s hard to be so mad,” or “You got frustrated with that toy, didn’t you? Next time, when you start getting upset, put the toy down, or ask someone for help.”
Tantrums in public? If your host child throws a fit in public, you might feel tempted to give in more easily. But don’t worry about others around you. It’s important to remain equally calm and handle a tantrum the same way you do when you are at home.