There are many good ways to concisely communicate those eight
thoughts. Barry decided to focus on his bottom-line objective. “I wanted
them to submit ideas by Tuesday, before the meeting,” he explained.
Read Barry’s revision and then his comments:
After scrutinizing last months’ sales reports, the reasons for the downturn
remain unclear. Even after considering events such as the blizzard in
the upper Midwest and the President’s Day holiday, there seems to be
no definitive reason why sales are down. What do you think is the problem?
What should we do differently? Please E-mail me your ideas by
Tuesday, and I’ll present them at the next sales meeting. (Five sentences
totaling sixty-nine words [13 + 28 + 7 + 5 + 16 = 69] average just under
fourteen words per sentence.)
“I decided to get rid of the junk and focus on the key points. Taking my
draft and listing the ideas I wanted to express was great! After I did that,
I focused on tightening up modifiers like ‘looking thoroughly.’ That means
‘scrutinizing,’ so I said ‘scrutinizing.’ Overall, I was pleased with my final
revision. It was simpler, more focused on my objective, and much clearer.”
TACTIC THREE: A POSITIVE TONE
Negative words and phrases such as “not,” “you don’t,” “you’re not able
to,” and the like should rarely be used. If you use such terminology frequently,
you dilute the impact of the words. If, on the other hand, you
use them judiciously, you underscore your point, adding emphasis and
urgency to your communications.
People don’t like to read or respond to bad news. In Chapter Two,
we reviewed organizational structures that help you say no or deliver bad
news as smoothly as possible. Now let’s examine negative words and
phrases themselves and see if you can select alternatives that will more
effectively generate the results you seek.
Choose the Positive Over the Negative
Highlight good news instead of bad news by writing about what can
occur, not what can’t. Consider the following two sentences:
There are many good ways to concisely communicate those eight
thoughts. Barry decided to focus on his bottom-line objective. “I wanted
them to submit ideas by Tuesday, before the meeting,” he explained.
Read Barry’s revision and then his comments:
After scrutinizing last months’ sales reports, the reasons for the downturn
remain unclear. Even after considering events such as the blizzard in
the upper Midwest and the President’s Day holiday, there seems to be
no definitive reason why sales are down. What do you think is the problem?
What should we do differently? Please E-mail me your ideas by
Tuesday, and I’ll present them at the next sales meeting. (Five sentences
totaling sixty-nine words [13 + 28 + 7 + 5 + 16 = 69] average just under
fourteen words per sentence.)
“I decided to get rid of the junk and focus on the key points. Taking my
draft and listing the ideas I wanted to express was great! After I did that,
I focused on tightening up modifiers like ‘looking thoroughly.’ That means
‘scrutinizing,’ so I said ‘scrutinizing.’ Overall, I was pleased with my final
revision. It was simpler, more focused on my objective, and much clearer.”
TACTIC THREE: A POSITIVE TONE
Negative words and phrases such as “not,” “you don’t,” “you’re not able
to,” and the like should rarely be used. If you use such terminology frequently,
you dilute the impact of the words. If, on the other hand, you
use them judiciously, you underscore your point, adding emphasis and
urgency to your communications.
People don’t like to read or respond to bad news. In Chapter Two,
we reviewed organizational structures that help you say no or deliver bad
news as smoothly as possible. Now let’s examine negative words and
phrases themselves and see if you can select alternatives that will more
effectively generate the results you seek.
Choose the Positive Over the Negative
Highlight good news instead of bad news by writing about what can
occur, not what can’t. Consider the following two sentences:
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