…happy birthday, dear Shin Hye… happy birthday to you!’
Shin Hye couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Her eyes started to water, feeling overwhelmed by the whole scene. Lately, she’d been depressed and feeling dejected. She was exhausted from work, and from dealing with the breakup that it took a lot of her energy. But for the first time in weeks, she could say that she was genuinely happy.
‘Ya, ya, ya! Don’t cry!’ Hong Ki exclaimed. ‘She’s crying, everyone! Make her stop!’
She hit his arm lightly before turning to her cake again. There were too many candles, signifying the many years that she’s been blessed. Yesterday, her birthday celebration with the fans ended, and now, her celebration with her family and closest friends was about to begin. Her heart fluttered.
‘Shin Hye, you’re supposed to blow the candles,’ Hong Ki reminded her, interrupting her thoughts.
‘I know. I’m just trying to think of a wish.’
Hong Ki chuckled. ‘Don’t make me laugh. You have everything already, Miss hallyu star! What more can you possibly wish for? Just blow the candles! I almost can’t feel my arms.’
Shin Hye bit her lip. That wasn’t exactly true. She didn’t have everything. But she wasn’t going to be greedy either. Just one wish would do. She closed her eyes then blew them out. The whole room cheered and clapped. Shin Hye’s Mother walked to her and gave her a tight hug.
‘Soo Jin and Joon planned all of this,’ her Father, who was right beside her Mom, told her. ‘You’re going to be busy on your actual birthday so let’s just celebrate earlier.’
‘Omma, appa, gumawo,’ she replied. She had already cried at the fan meeting when her parents gave her their message. She wasn’t going to cry anymore, although the tears were really being pushy.
Her mother leaned closer. ‘Keunde… is Min Ho coming?’
She tensed at the mention of his name. Shin Hye looked at her Mom apologetically. ‘China.’
She didn’t like lying to her parents, so she settled for a half-truth. As far as she knew, Min Ho was in China for a schedule since the 14th, so he’s probably still there. Her heart grew heavy at the thought of him. No, Shin Hye. Have fun. You have everyone you need right here.
Throughout the night, everyone ate, laughed, and drank heartily. Shin Hye travelled from table to table, taking photos, joking with friends, and just receiving well wishes from everyone who came. Heechul was such a hoot. He became the pseudo-emcee, asking Shin Hye’s friends to make funny toasts for the birthday girl.
Shin Hye laughed out loud when Hong Ki retold everyone an anecdote from their drama filming days. He said that back then, Shin Hye was really like a boy. He doesn’t know when she started becoming so feminine, and he’s honestly getting scared that he’ll soon see her as a girl.
‘That’s never going to happen, Hongstar!’ Shin Hye said out loud.
Their festivities were interrupted when a huge bouquet of flowers were delivered to the restaurant. It was almost as big as Shin Hye that the delivery guy had trouble bringing it inside. Shin Hye looked around in confusion, to see if it was from someone in attendance. When nobody stepped up, the crowd hooted.
‘Oooh, looks like it’s from someone special!’ Jonghoon teased.
‘Omo! Do you have a boyfriend already, Shin Hye-ah? How come I don’t know about this?’ Heechul asked out loud, eliciting another round of teasing from her friends.
Shin Hye, on the other hand, just stood there stoically. She glanced at her manager who just shrugged, as if saying he has no idea who it’s from. Are these really from him? She wondered as she eyed the flowers again. It was absolutely beautiful.
She didn’t notice her Mother was already beside her. ‘Aigoo. He’s so wonderful, sending this even when he’s in China,’ she gushed. Shin Hye smiled awkwardly in response.
Just then, Geun Suk appeared from behind the flowers, surprising everyone there. Shin Hye’s heart leapt when he was suddenly in her face.
‘Saengil Chukae, Shin Hye!’ He greeted and then gave her a hug in front of everyone. The whole room erupted in cheers.
Hong Ki approached them excitedly. ‘Hyungnim! Wah, boshta. Are you finally dating Shin Hye after all this time?’
‘Ani, Shin Hye still won’t accept my heart. Right, omoni?’
Shin Hye’s mother just laughed and whacked Geun Suk’s arm. ‘Have you eaten? Why do you look so skinny? This won’t do. I’m going to feed you,’ she half-dragged Geun Suk away, and Hong Ki followed, leaving Shin Hye still standing there. Geun Suk looked back at her, mouthed ‘let’s talk later’ and gave her a wide smile.
Shin Hye nodded and sighed. It’s Geun Suk oppa. Not him. Her heart sank a little, disappointed. She knew she shouldn’t be hoping for anything from Min Ho now that they’ve broken up, but she couldn’t help it.
The visitors slowly left one by one as it approached midnight. Shin Hye, Joon, and Geun Suk were left at the restaurant, helping her parents clean up. When they were done, Geun Suk offered to take Shin Hye home.
They were both quiet as Geun Suk drove. Shin Hye noticed that he kept stealing glances at her, and she knew why. She hasn’t seen Geun Suk since she broke down at the karaoke place and ended up taking a nap at his studio to calm herself down. She didn’t give him the details about what happened between her and Min Ho, but Geun Suk was able to deduce from her state that they had broken up. It was no use convincing him otherwise, since he could always tell whenever she was lying.
‘Do you want to grab coffee?’ Geun Suk asked, breaking the silence between them. ‘Or a beer?’
Shin Hye pursed her lips. ‘Beer. I try to avoid coffee these days since my insomnia has gotten worse.’
He stopped by a convenience store near her apartment and bought a couple of cans. When he got back inside the car, he handed Shin Hye an opened one. They decided to just park there and drink inside.
‘Is this car new?’ Shin Hye asked, scanning the space. She was trying to stall – she knew that the talk was coming. Otherwise, Geun Suk would have just brought her home. ‘You bought one again? It looks awesome.’
He smirked. ‘Well you know my weakness. Also, I figured it was about time I owned a green one. It’s pretty cool, huh?’
‘Yeah.’
‘So,’ Geun Suk spoke after he took a sip. ‘Have you talked to him lately?’
There it is. As much as she didn’t want to be reminded of Min Ho, she was glad that at least she can be open with Geun Suk. Her manager wasn’t the right person to talk to, because he wasn’t exactly objective. Maybe if she can unload some of the things that’s been on her mind with Geun Suk, then she’ll feel better.
Shin Hye looked down and shook her head. Technically, she hasn’t talked to Min Ho. Their ‘conversation’ back at his pad couldn’t really be considered talking, since he was in a drunk state.
‘You’re not sleeping well?’ He asked, a hint of concern in his voice. ‘Your insomnia. Does it have anything to do with him?’
‘I’d be lying if I say it has nothing to do with him,’ she replied. ‘It’s just… I have a lot of things on my mind. Mostly him.’
Geun Suk sighed audibly. ‘Don’t punish your body just because of a breakup. If anything, you should take care of yourself more.’
With those words, Shin Hye remembered how skinny Min Ho had gotten. She knew he wasn’t eating well, just as she wasn’t sleeping well. Geun Suk was right, but what can she do when her body won’t cooperate?
‘I’ll be fine,’ she replied curtly.
‘Is it… really over between you and Lee Min Ho?’
Shin Hye turned to Geun Suk, taken aback by the the question. If Geun Suk had asked her this a week ago, she would have said yes without batting an eyelash. But after what happened at Min Ho’s pad, Shin Hye’s feelings have been wavering.
‘Yeah,’ she replied, her voice weak. She wondered if Geun Suk saw through her answer.
‘I talked to Min Ho before he went to New Zealand,’ he blurted out. ‘Well, more like I threatened him.’
Shin Hye’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘Meo?’
‘I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid you’d get mad. But yeah, I talked to him. I was so close to punching the guy, but I couldn’t.’
Shin Hye let out a tiny laugh. ‘Imagine the headlines on that. Jang Geun Suk Punches Lee Min Ho Over Park Shin Hye. The reporters would have had a field day.’
‘It’s not that,’ Geun Suk shook his head, sounding serious. ‘I couldn’t punch him because he looked like he was already in pain.’
They were silent again as Shin Hye processed that new information. She honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. Serves him right? He should be in pain after what he did to me? But all she could feel was hurt, knowing now that Min Ho was really having a hard time. Especially after she saw him lose so much weight, and when she witnessed him cry in front of her. All this time, she thought he was okay. I mean why would anybody break up with someone and not be okay? Why should she feel guilty when she didn’t even have a say in the matter? It was getting absurd the more she thought about it.
‘He made a choice…’ she said weakly.
‘I know that,’ Geun Suk replied. ‘But maybe you should also think about what lead him to ultimately make that choice. The pressure, his agency, the media, the fans…’
‘I have.’ Shin Hye cut him off. ‘I have thought about it and now I understand him. So much so that I also believe we have to let go. Even if we get back together, the same things will drive us apart. Oppa, we’re stuck. I finally get why we had to break up. It’s better for both of us to just walk away and get over it rather than get hurt several times over.’
These were the same words that Shin Hye repeated in her head every night. The words that her heart had to battle with. Saying them out loud felt different. But why does she feel like she was lying?
Geun Suk held her eyes for a long time before he finally slumped his shoulders in defeat. ‘
…happy birthday, dear Shin Hye… happy birthday to you!’
Shin Hye couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Her eyes started to water, feeling overwhelmed by the whole scene. Lately, she’d been depressed and feeling dejected. She was exhausted from work, and from dealing with the breakup that it took a lot of her energy. But for the first time in weeks, she could say that she was genuinely happy.
‘Ya, ya, ya! Don’t cry!’ Hong Ki exclaimed. ‘She’s crying, everyone! Make her stop!’
She hit his arm lightly before turning to her cake again. There were too many candles, signifying the many years that she’s been blessed. Yesterday, her birthday celebration with the fans ended, and now, her celebration with her family and closest friends was about to begin. Her heart fluttered.
‘Shin Hye, you’re supposed to blow the candles,’ Hong Ki reminded her, interrupting her thoughts.
‘I know. I’m just trying to think of a wish.’
Hong Ki chuckled. ‘Don’t make me laugh. You have everything already, Miss hallyu star! What more can you possibly wish for? Just blow the candles! I almost can’t feel my arms.’
Shin Hye bit her lip. That wasn’t exactly true. She didn’t have everything. But she wasn’t going to be greedy either. Just one wish would do. She closed her eyes then blew them out. The whole room cheered and clapped. Shin Hye’s Mother walked to her and gave her a tight hug.
‘Soo Jin and Joon planned all of this,’ her Father, who was right beside her Mom, told her. ‘You’re going to be busy on your actual birthday so let’s just celebrate earlier.’
‘Omma, appa, gumawo,’ she replied. She had already cried at the fan meeting when her parents gave her their message. She wasn’t going to cry anymore, although the tears were really being pushy.
Her mother leaned closer. ‘Keunde… is Min Ho coming?’
She tensed at the mention of his name. Shin Hye looked at her Mom apologetically. ‘China.’
She didn’t like lying to her parents, so she settled for a half-truth. As far as she knew, Min Ho was in China for a schedule since the 14th, so he’s probably still there. Her heart grew heavy at the thought of him. No, Shin Hye. Have fun. You have everyone you need right here.
Throughout the night, everyone ate, laughed, and drank heartily. Shin Hye travelled from table to table, taking photos, joking with friends, and just receiving well wishes from everyone who came. Heechul was such a hoot. He became the pseudo-emcee, asking Shin Hye’s friends to make funny toasts for the birthday girl.
Shin Hye laughed out loud when Hong Ki retold everyone an anecdote from their drama filming days. He said that back then, Shin Hye was really like a boy. He doesn’t know when she started becoming so feminine, and he’s honestly getting scared that he’ll soon see her as a girl.
‘That’s never going to happen, Hongstar!’ Shin Hye said out loud.
Their festivities were interrupted when a huge bouquet of flowers were delivered to the restaurant. It was almost as big as Shin Hye that the delivery guy had trouble bringing it inside. Shin Hye looked around in confusion, to see if it was from someone in attendance. When nobody stepped up, the crowd hooted.
‘Oooh, looks like it’s from someone special!’ Jonghoon teased.
‘Omo! Do you have a boyfriend already, Shin Hye-ah? How come I don’t know about this?’ Heechul asked out loud, eliciting another round of teasing from her friends.
Shin Hye, on the other hand, just stood there stoically. She glanced at her manager who just shrugged, as if saying he has no idea who it’s from. Are these really from him? She wondered as she eyed the flowers again. It was absolutely beautiful.
She didn’t notice her Mother was already beside her. ‘Aigoo. He’s so wonderful, sending this even when he’s in China,’ she gushed. Shin Hye smiled awkwardly in response.
Just then, Geun Suk appeared from behind the flowers, surprising everyone there. Shin Hye’s heart leapt when he was suddenly in her face.
‘Saengil Chukae, Shin Hye!’ He greeted and then gave her a hug in front of everyone. The whole room erupted in cheers.
Hong Ki approached them excitedly. ‘Hyungnim! Wah, boshta. Are you finally dating Shin Hye after all this time?’
‘Ani, Shin Hye still won’t accept my heart. Right, omoni?’
Shin Hye’s mother just laughed and whacked Geun Suk’s arm. ‘Have you eaten? Why do you look so skinny? This won’t do. I’m going to feed you,’ she half-dragged Geun Suk away, and Hong Ki followed, leaving Shin Hye still standing there. Geun Suk looked back at her, mouthed ‘let’s talk later’ and gave her a wide smile.
Shin Hye nodded and sighed. It’s Geun Suk oppa. Not him. Her heart sank a little, disappointed. She knew she shouldn’t be hoping for anything from Min Ho now that they’ve broken up, but she couldn’t help it.
The visitors slowly left one by one as it approached midnight. Shin Hye, Joon, and Geun Suk were left at the restaurant, helping her parents clean up. When they were done, Geun Suk offered to take Shin Hye home.
They were both quiet as Geun Suk drove. Shin Hye noticed that he kept stealing glances at her, and she knew why. She hasn’t seen Geun Suk since she broke down at the karaoke place and ended up taking a nap at his studio to calm herself down. She didn’t give him the details about what happened between her and Min Ho, but Geun Suk was able to deduce from her state that they had broken up. It was no use convincing him otherwise, since he could always tell whenever she was lying.
‘Do you want to grab coffee?’ Geun Suk asked, breaking the silence between them. ‘Or a beer?’
Shin Hye pursed her lips. ‘Beer. I try to avoid coffee these days since my insomnia has gotten worse.’
He stopped by a convenience store near her apartment and bought a couple of cans. When he got back inside the car, he handed Shin Hye an opened one. They decided to just park there and drink inside.
‘Is this car new?’ Shin Hye asked, scanning the space. She was trying to stall – she knew that the talk was coming. Otherwise, Geun Suk would have just brought her home. ‘You bought one again? It looks awesome.’
He smirked. ‘Well you know my weakness. Also, I figured it was about time I owned a green one. It’s pretty cool, huh?’
‘Yeah.’
‘So,’ Geun Suk spoke after he took a sip. ‘Have you talked to him lately?’
There it is. As much as she didn’t want to be reminded of Min Ho, she was glad that at least she can be open with Geun Suk. Her manager wasn’t the right person to talk to, because he wasn’t exactly objective. Maybe if she can unload some of the things that’s been on her mind with Geun Suk, then she’ll feel better.
Shin Hye looked down and shook her head. Technically, she hasn’t talked to Min Ho. Their ‘conversation’ back at his pad couldn’t really be considered talking, since he was in a drunk state.
‘You’re not sleeping well?’ He asked, a hint of concern in his voice. ‘Your insomnia. Does it have anything to do with him?’
‘I’d be lying if I say it has nothing to do with him,’ she replied. ‘It’s just… I have a lot of things on my mind. Mostly him.’
Geun Suk sighed audibly. ‘Don’t punish your body just because of a breakup. If anything, you should take care of yourself more.’
With those words, Shin Hye remembered how skinny Min Ho had gotten. She knew he wasn’t eating well, just as she wasn’t sleeping well. Geun Suk was right, but what can she do when her body won’t cooperate?
‘I’ll be fine,’ she replied curtly.
‘Is it… really over between you and Lee Min Ho?’
Shin Hye turned to Geun Suk, taken aback by the the question. If Geun Suk had asked her this a week ago, she would have said yes without batting an eyelash. But after what happened at Min Ho’s pad, Shin Hye’s feelings have been wavering.
‘Yeah,’ she replied, her voice weak. She wondered if Geun Suk saw through her answer.
‘I talked to Min Ho before he went to New Zealand,’ he blurted out. ‘Well, more like I threatened him.’
Shin Hye’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘Meo?’
‘I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid you’d get mad. But yeah, I talked to him. I was so close to punching the guy, but I couldn’t.’
Shin Hye let out a tiny laugh. ‘Imagine the headlines on that. Jang Geun Suk Punches Lee Min Ho Over Park Shin Hye. The reporters would have had a field day.’
‘It’s not that,’ Geun Suk shook his head, sounding serious. ‘I couldn’t punch him because he looked like he was already in pain.’
They were silent again as Shin Hye processed that new information. She honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. Serves him right? He should be in pain after what he did to me? But all she could feel was hurt, knowing now that Min Ho was really having a hard time. Especially after she saw him lose so much weight, and when she witnessed him cry in front of her. All this time, she thought he was okay. I mean why would anybody break up with someone and not be okay? Why should she feel guilty when she didn’t even have a say in the matter? It was getting absurd the more she thought about it.
‘He made a choice…’ she said weakly.
‘I know that,’ Geun Suk replied. ‘But maybe you should also think about what lead him to ultimately make that choice. The pressure, his agency, the media, the fans…’
‘I have.’ Shin Hye cut him off. ‘I have thought about it and now I understand him. So much so that I also believe we have to let go. Even if we get back together, the same things will drive us apart. Oppa, we’re stuck. I finally get why we had to break up. It’s better for both of us to just walk away and get over it rather than get hurt several times over.’
These were the same words that Shin Hye repeated in her head every night. The words that her heart had to battle with. Saying them out loud felt different. But why does she feel like she was lying?
Geun Suk held her eyes for a long time before he finally slumped his shoulders in defeat. ‘
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