1. Your project is about service and data...your recommendations are not the solution for the problems and they are not interesting....
You suggested to hire messager and new employees...i think the company has not done before because of some reasons such as budget....you need to think other options to reduce workloads for them.
2. Old computer system is another problem...can you think of other solutions to solve problem? Not just only buy new version..
3. I think you mentioned "literature review" is not what you use it...it's for academic research...can you change name of this part?
Try to think more of new or interesting solutions ka.