Some stories seem to be buried stubbornly in our memory. They usually come back to haunt us on nights of loneliness, at moments when we let our mind drift with the whisper of the sea or the sighs of the breeze. They return time and time again like whirling waters and form a sad melody of life, intruding faintly, regardless of place, whenever we are engrossed in the present. On the last day of September 1980, my eight friends and I were walking down a high ridge and, a little before noon, we reached the upper course of the Kha Khaeng stream. Monsoon rains had been falling for days on end, at times seeming to split the whole range asunder, at others melting in a fine drizzle that lasted from dawn to dusk. Even when the rain stopped, the whole jungle was still as dim and damp as a deserted theatre. The smell of old leaves and soggy rotting logs had filled our nostrils along the way. Taking the ravine near the source of the Khwae Yai River as our starting point, we had walked for five full days in the rain, up and down steep mountain slopes. We were coming from the west, cutting across the common borders of Uthai Thani, Tak and Kanchanaburi provinces in order to reach the jungle’s edge at a place called Sap Fa Pha. Another day and we would reach our destination, provided we could safely cross the Kha Khaeng rapids. It was the end of the rainy season, and the water was at its highest level. The stream, turbid like a sea of boiling mud, had overflowed its banks and spread wide. All along its course we could see a scattering of half-submerged bushes, which swayed about like drowning men struggling wildly as they called out for help. Whole trees – roots, trunks and all – drifted down, and some got stuck on bushes which the current hadn’t yet torn up. On the opposite bank, a little beyond our route, a large monitor lizard had been swept onto a branch, to which it clung, bobbing up and down under the thrashing of the current; it was unable to climb up the bank and unable to let go, as it would be whisked away by the rapids. What a pathetic sight! It was a fully grown lizard which must have gone through a lot before being caught in the stream… Before deciding to leave the mountains at the end of September 1980, I’d spent more than five years of my life in the jungle. It hadn’t been easy for someone who happened to be born and lived for nearly two decades in a village by the sea, and all the more so for someone whohad always been conscious that his parents had hoped he would provide for the family once he had graduated from university. I was able to get rid of the first burden within a fairly short time: it took me no longer than two rainy seasons to feel at home in the jungle and mountains. But the second burden was different. During those five years, I shouldered it every step of the way, day and night, from high rocky ridges through to meandering brooks. I still vividly remember the day I had to leave. I had travelled to Bang Pakong, my birthplace, to bid farewell to my parents. Father was the only one at home that day. Mother had gone to a neighbouring province to buy fruit she’d sell at the market. As I sat waiting for her to return home, I thought about the days of my childhood, when we still lived together. The more I brooded, the more I felt she was an angel heaven had punished by making her the mother of someone like me. Mother spoke little and hardly ever had a harsh word for her children. She was nonetheless one of the proudest women I have ever known. Because she was abandoned by her father in her infancy, had no relatives and never went to school, she was used to relying on herself since a very early age. No matter how destitute she was, she never begged from anyone; even among her own children, she’d never ask for help to ease her weariness if we weren’t considerate enough to see it ourselves. She usually got up before dawn to take goods to the market and, depending on how much there was, carried them either by pushcart or in baskets hanging from a yoke balanced on her shoulder. After selecting fruits for a while, just before it was time for her to leave the house, she’d nudge me gently awake or call me in her usual tone of voice; under no circumstances would she shout, because she disliked making noise and, besides, was afraid to unnecessarily awaken my little brother and sisters, who were still very young. One day, she tried to wake me up three times, but I wouldn’t get up. I was already awake, but I still wanted to sleep late like any child who was growing fast and showing signs of puberty. After a while, I began to feel that Mother was unusually quiet. I got up and saw her busy carrying goods on her shoulder, holding this, grabbing that, and on her face, which had begun to wrinkle, tears were streaming down. “No need.” She whisked my hands away after I jumped to relieve her of what she was holding. Since that day, I never allowed her to wake me up more than once. This, however, didn’t mean the end of our sad story.
There was a time during which my mother had no money to buy fruit to resell or pay the rent for her stall at the village market. She earned five to ten baht a day from selling shaved- ice with syrup and toasted bread at the parking bay for the minibuses that ran between Bang Pakong and Chonburi. During that period, my father had gone looking for jobs in the South and my eldest sister and elder brother were earning their living in other provinces; thus I was the oldest child in the house. With my three younger siblings, it meant Mother had many mouths to feed day in and day out. She had a plaster piggy bank, made in the shape of a horse, in which there were more than ten coins in various sizes and a five-baht banknote. Any day when she didn’t earn enough from her sales to buy food, she’d take the coins to supplement whatever Some stories seem to be buried stubbornly in our memory. They usually come back to haunt us on nights of loneliness, at moments when we let our mind drift with the whisper of the sea or the sighs of the breeze. They return time and time again like whirling waters and form a sad melody of life, intruding faintly, regardless of place, whenever we are engrossed in the present. On the last day of September 1980, my eight friends and I were walking down a high ridge and, a little before noon, we reached the upper course of the Kha Khaeng stream. Monsoon rains had been falling for days on end, at times seeming to split the whole range asunder, at others melting in a fine drizzle that lasted from dawn to dusk. Even when the rain stopped, the whole jungle was still as dim and damp as a deserted theatre. The smell of old leaves and soggy rotting logs had filled our nostrils along the way. Taking the ravine near the source of the Khwae Yai River as our starting point, we had walked for five full days in the rain, up and down steep mountain slopes. We were coming from the west, cutting across the common borders of Uthai Thani, Tak and Kanchanaburi provinces in order to reach the jungle’s edge at a place called Sap Fa Pha. Another day and we would reach our destination, provided we could safely cross the Kha Khaeng rapids. It was the end of the rainy season, and the water was at its highest level. The stream, turbid like a sea of boiling mud, had overflowed its banks and spread wide. All along its course we could see a scattering of half-submerged bushes, which swayed about like drowning men struggling wildly as they called out for help. Whole trees – roots, trunks and all – drifted down, and some got stuck on bushes which the current hadn’t yet torn up. On the opposite bank, a little beyond our route, a large monitor lizard had been swept onto a branch, to which it clung, bobbing up and down under the thrashing of the current; it was unable to climb up the bank and unable to let go, as it would be whisked away by the rapids. What a pathetic sight! It was a fully grown lizard which must have gone through a lot before being caught in the stream… Before deciding to leave the mountains at the end of September 1980, I’d spent more than five years of my life in the jungle. It hadn’t been easy for someone who happened to be born and lived for nearly two decades in a village by the sea, and all the more so for someone whohad always been conscious that his parents had hoped he would provide for the family once he had graduated from university. I was able to get rid of the first burden within a fairly short time: it took me no longer than two rainy seasons to feel at home in
บางเรื่องดูเหมือนจะถูกฝังอยู่ในหน่วยความจำของเราดันทุรัง พวกเขามักจะกลับมาหลอกหลอนเราในคืนของความเหงา ในช่วงเวลาเมื่อเราปล่อยให้จิตใจของเราดริฟท์กับ whisper ทะเลหรือ sighs ของสายลม พวกเขากลับมาอีกครั้งเช่นน้ำ whirling และแบบเมโลดี้เศร้าของชีวิต intruding รำไร ว่า เมื่อใดก็ ตามเราจะหมกมุ่นอยู่ในปัจจุบัน ในวันสุดท้ายของเดือน 1980 กันยายน เพื่อนของฉันแปดและเดินริดจ์สูงและ น้อยก่อนเที่ยง เราถึงหลักสูตรบนน้ำแข้งขา ฝนมรสุมได้ถูกล้มวันใน ครั้งด้วยแบ่งทั้งหมดออกเป็นชิ้น ๆ ที่อื่นละลายพรำ ๆ ดีที่กินเวลาจากเช้าถึงค่ำมืด แม้เมื่อฝนหยุด ป่าทั้งยังเป็นมิติ และชื้นเป็นโรงละครร้าง กลิ่นของใบ และล็อกหึ่ง soggy ได้เติมจมูกของเราไปพร้อมกัน การ ravine ใกล้แหล่งที่มาของแควใหญ่เป็นจุดเริ่มต้นของเรา เราได้เดินห้าวันเต็มในสายฝน ขึ้นภูเขาสูงชันลาด เราได้มาจากตะวันตก ตัดข้ามพรมแดนทั่วจังหวัดอุทัยธานี ตาก และจังหวัดกาญจนบุรีเพื่อที่จะถึงขอบของป่าที่เรียกว่า Sap Fa ผา อีกวันและเราจะถึงปลายทางของเรา ให้เราได้อย่างปลอดภัยสามารถข้ามแก่งคาแข้ง มันเป็นปลายฤดูฝน และน้ำที่ระดับสูงสุดนั้น สตรีม turbid เช่นทะเลเดือดโคลน มี overflowed ของธนาคาร และแผ่กว้าง รับหลักสูตรของ เราสามารถดู scattering พุ่มน้ำท่วมครึ่ง ที่ swayed เช่นจมคนดิ้นรนอาละวาด ตามที่พวกเขาร้องเรียกขอความช่วยเหลือเกี่ยวกับ ทั้งต้นไม้ราก กางเกง และทั้งหมด – ลอยลง และบางส่วนได้ติดอยู่ในพุ่มไม้ซึ่งปัจจุบันยังไม่ได้ขาดค่า ตรงข้ามธนาคาร เล็กน้อยนอกจากเส้นทางของเรา ได้รับการกวาดจิ้งจกจอภาพขนาดใหญ่ไปสาขา ซึ่งมันพืช bobbing ขึ้นและลงภายใต้ thrashing ของปัจจุบัน ได้สามารถไต่เต้าขึ้นธนาคาร และไม่สามารถปล่อย เป็นมันจะได้ whisked ไปตามแก่ง น่าสงสารเห็นอะไร เป็นจิ้งจกเติบโตเต็มที่ต้องมีผ่านไปผ่านมากก่อนที่จะจับในกระแส ... ก่อนตัดสินใจจะออกจากภูเขาที่ส่วนท้ายของ 1980 กันยายน ฉันได้ใช้เวลากว่าห้าปีของชีวิตในป่า มันไม่ได้ถูกง่ายสำหรับคนที่เกิดขึ้นจะเกิด และอยู่เกือบสองทศวรรษที่ผ่านมาในหมู่บ้านริมทะเล และคอยให้คน whohad จะถูกใส่ใจพ่อแม่ก็หวังว่า เขาจะให้สำหรับครอบครัวเมื่อเขาได้จบศึกษาจากมหาวิทยาลัย ผมสามารถที่จะกำจัดภาระแรกภายในเวลาอันสั้นค่อนข้าง: มันเอาฉันไม่กว่าฤดูฝนสองใจที่บ้านในป่าและภูเขา แต่ภาระสองไม่แตกต่างกัน ในช่วงปีที่ 5 ผมไหล่มันทุกขั้นตอนของวิธีการ กลางวันและกลางคืน จากสูงหินเคลื่อนผ่านไปบรู๊คส์คดเคี้ยว ผมยังคงน่าฟังจำได้ว่า วันที่ผมไป ผมได้เดินทางไปบางบางปะกง แหล่งกำเนิดของฉัน เพื่อร่ำลากับพ่อ พ่อเดียวที่บ้านวันนั้น แม่เดินทางไปยังจังหวัดเพื่อนซื้อผลไม้เธอจะขายที่ตลาด ขณะที่ฉันนั่งรอเธอกลับบ้าน ฉันคิดว่า เกี่ยวกับวันของวัยเด็กของฉัน เมื่อเรายังอยู่ด้วยกัน ยิ่งฉัน brooded มากขึ้นฉันรู้สึกเธอสรวงสวรรค์มีโทษ โดยทำให้เธอแม่ของคนอย่างฉัน แม่พูดเพียงเล็กน้อย และไม่เคยมีคำรุนแรงเด็กของเธอ เธอกระนั้นผู้หญิงภูมิใจที่สุดที่ฉันเคยรู้จักอย่างใดอย่างหนึ่ง เนื่องจากเธอถูกยกเลิก โดยพ่อของเธอในวัยเด็กของเธอ มีญาติไม่มี และไม่เคยไปโรงเรียน เธอถูกใช้เพื่อการพึ่งตนเองตั้งแต่อายุมากต้น ไม่ว่าวิธีไร้เธอ เธอไม่เคยขอร้องจากคน แม้กระทั่งในเด็กของเธอเอง เธอไม่เคยจะขอความช่วยเหลือบรรเทาภายของเธอหากเราไม่ได้น้ำใจพอที่จะเห็นตนเอง เธอมักจะมีค่าก่อนรุ่งเช้าจะนำสินค้า ไปยังตลาด และ ตามจำนวนมี ทำให้สมดุล โดย pushcart หรือ ในกระเช้าแขวนจากแอกการบนไหล่ของเธอ หลังจากเลือกผลไม้หนึ่ง เพียงก่อนที่จะถูกเวลาที่เธอออกจากบ้าน เธอจะเขยิบฉันเบา ๆ ตื่น หรือติดต่อในเธอปกติเสียง ภายใต้สถานการณ์ไม่ ต้องเธอตะโกน เพราะเธอ disliked ทำเสียง นอกจาก กลัวปลุกน้องชายน้อยของฉันและน้อง ตอนยังเด็ก ๆ มากโดยไม่จำเป็น วันหนึ่ง เธอพยายามปลุกฉันขึ้นสามครั้ง แต่จะไม่ได้รับค่า ผมได้ทำงาน แต่ยังอยากจะนอนดึกเช่นเด็กที่เติบโตอย่างรวดเร็ว และแสดงอาการของวัยแรกรุ่น หลัง ฉันเริ่มรู้สึกว่า แม่เงียบผิดปกติ ฉันมีค่า และเห็นสินค้ากระเป๋าของเธอว่างบนไหล่ของเธอ โฮลดิ้ง นี้โลภที่ และบนใบหน้า ซึ่งเริ่มทำให้ย่น น้ำตาส่งกระแสข้อมูลลง "ไม่จำเป็นต้อง" เธอ whisked มือของฉันไปหลังจากฉันไปเพื่อบรรเทาเธอสิ่งที่เธอถูกยึด ตั้งแต่วันนั้น ฉันไม่เคยอนุญาตให้เธอปลุกฉันขึ้นมากกว่าหนึ่งครั้ง นี้ อย่างไรก็ตาม ไม่ได้หมายถึง สิ้นสุดเรื่องราวเศร้าThere was a time during which my mother had no money to buy fruit to resell or pay the rent for her stall at the village market. She earned five to ten baht a day from selling shaved- ice with syrup and toasted bread at the parking bay for the minibuses that ran between Bang Pakong and Chonburi. During that period, my father had gone looking for jobs in the South and my eldest sister and elder brother were earning their living in other provinces; thus I was the oldest child in the house. With my three younger siblings, it meant Mother had many mouths to feed day in and day out. She had a plaster piggy bank, made in the shape of a horse, in which there were more than ten coins in various sizes and a five-baht banknote. Any day when she didn’t earn enough from her sales to buy food, she’d take the coins to supplement whatever Some stories seem to be buried stubbornly in our memory. They usually come back to haunt us on nights of loneliness, at moments when we let our mind drift with the whisper of the sea or the sighs of the breeze. They return time and time again like whirling waters and form a sad melody of life, intruding faintly, regardless of place, whenever we are engrossed in the present. On the last day of September 1980, my eight friends and I were walking down a high ridge and, a little before noon, we reached the upper course of the Kha Khaeng stream. Monsoon rains had been falling for days on end, at times seeming to split the whole range asunder, at others melting in a fine drizzle that lasted from dawn to dusk. Even when the rain stopped, the whole jungle was still as dim and damp as a deserted theatre. The smell of old leaves and soggy rotting logs had filled our nostrils along the way. Taking the ravine near the source of the Khwae Yai River as our starting point, we had walked for five full days in the rain, up and down steep mountain slopes. We were coming from the west, cutting across the common borders of Uthai Thani, Tak and Kanchanaburi provinces in order to reach the jungle’s edge at a place called Sap Fa Pha. Another day and we would reach our destination, provided we could safely cross the Kha Khaeng rapids. It was the end of the rainy season, and the water was at its highest level. The stream, turbid like a sea of boiling mud, had overflowed its banks and spread wide. All along its course we could see a scattering of half-submerged bushes, which swayed about like drowning men struggling wildly as they called out for help. Whole trees – roots, trunks and all – drifted down, and some got stuck on bushes which the current hadn’t yet torn up. On the opposite bank, a little beyond our route, a large monitor lizard had been swept onto a branch, to which it clung, bobbing up and down under the thrashing of the current; it was unable to climb up the bank and unable to let go, as it would be whisked away by the rapids. What a pathetic sight! It was a fully grown lizard which must have gone through a lot before being caught in the stream… Before deciding to leave the mountains at the end of September 1980, I’d spent more than five years of my life in the jungle. It hadn’t been easy for someone who happened to be born and lived for nearly two decades in a village by the sea, and all the more so for someone whohad always been conscious that his parents had hoped he would provide for the family once he had graduated from university. I was able to get rid of the first burden within a fairly short time: it took me no longer than two rainy seasons to feel at home in
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Some stories seem to be buried stubbornly in our memory. They usually come back to haunt us on nights of loneliness, at moments when we let our mind drift with the whisper of the sea or the sighs of the breeze. They return time and time again like whirling waters and form a sad melody of life, intruding faintly, regardless of place, whenever we are engrossed in the present. On the last day of September 1980, my eight friends and I were walking down a high ridge and, a little before noon, we reached the upper course of the Kha Khaeng stream. Monsoon rains had been falling for days on end, at times seeming to split the whole range asunder, at others melting in a fine drizzle that lasted from dawn to dusk. Even when the rain stopped, the whole jungle was still as dim and damp as a deserted theatre. The smell of old leaves and soggy rotting logs had filled our nostrils along the way. Taking the ravine near the source of the Khwae Yai River as our starting point, we had walked for five full days in the rain, up and down steep mountain slopes. We were coming from the west, cutting across the common borders of Uthai Thani, Tak and Kanchanaburi provinces in order to reach the jungle’s edge at a place called Sap Fa Pha. Another day and we would reach our destination, provided we could safely cross the Kha Khaeng rapids. It was the end of the rainy season, and the water was at its highest level. The stream, turbid like a sea of boiling mud, had overflowed its banks and spread wide. All along its course we could see a scattering of half-submerged bushes, which swayed about like drowning men struggling wildly as they called out for help. Whole trees – roots, trunks and all – drifted down, and some got stuck on bushes which the current hadn’t yet torn up. On the opposite bank, a little beyond our route, a large monitor lizard had been swept onto a branch, to which it clung, bobbing up and down under the thrashing of the current; it was unable to climb up the bank and unable to let go, as it would be whisked away by the rapids. What a pathetic sight! It was a fully grown lizard which must have gone through a lot before being caught in the stream… Before deciding to leave the mountains at the end of September 1980, I’d spent more than five years of my life in the jungle. It hadn’t been easy for someone who happened to be born and lived for nearly two decades in a village by the sea, and all the more so for someone whohad always been conscious that his parents had hoped he would provide for the family once he had graduated from university. I was able to get rid of the first burden within a fairly short time: it took me no longer than two rainy seasons to feel at home in the jungle and mountains. But the second burden was different. During those five years, I shouldered it every step of the way, day and night, from high rocky ridges through to meandering brooks. I still vividly remember the day I had to leave. I had travelled to Bang Pakong, my birthplace, to bid farewell to my parents. Father was the only one at home that day. Mother had gone to a neighbouring province to buy fruit she’d sell at the market. As I sat waiting for her to return home, I thought about the days of my childhood, when we still lived together. The more I brooded, the more I felt she was an angel heaven had punished by making her the mother of someone like me. Mother spoke little and hardly ever had a harsh word for her children. She was nonetheless one of the proudest women I have ever known. Because she was abandoned by her father in her infancy, had no relatives and never went to school, she was used to relying on herself since a very early age. No matter how destitute she was, she never begged from anyone; even among her own children, she’d never ask for help to ease her weariness if we weren’t considerate enough to see it ourselves. She usually got up before dawn to take goods to the market and, depending on how much there was, carried them either by pushcart or in baskets hanging from a yoke balanced on her shoulder. After selecting fruits for a while, just before it was time for her to leave the house, she’d nudge me gently awake or call me in her usual tone of voice; under no circumstances would she shout, because she disliked making noise and, besides, was afraid to unnecessarily awaken my little brother and sisters, who were still very young. One day, she tried to wake me up three times, but I wouldn’t get up. I was already awake, but I still wanted to sleep late like any child who was growing fast and showing signs of puberty. After a while, I began to feel that Mother was unusually quiet. I got up and saw her busy carrying goods on her shoulder, holding this, grabbing that, and on her face, which had begun to wrinkle, tears were streaming down. “No need.” She whisked my hands away after I jumped to relieve her of what she was holding. Since that day, I never allowed her to wake me up more than once. This, however, didn’t mean the end of our sad story.
There was a time during which my mother had no money to buy fruit to resell or pay the rent for her stall at the village market. She earned five to ten baht a day from selling shaved- ice with syrup and toasted bread at the parking bay for the minibuses that ran between Bang Pakong and Chonburi. During that period, my father had gone looking for jobs in the South and my eldest sister and elder brother were earning their living in other provinces; thus I was the oldest child in the house. With my three younger siblings, it meant Mother had many mouths to feed day in and day out. She had a plaster piggy bank, made in the shape of a horse, in which there were more than ten coins in various sizes and a five-baht banknote. Any day when she didn’t earn enough from her sales to buy food, she’d take the coins to supplement whatever Some stories seem to be buried stubbornly in our memory. They usually come back to haunt us on nights of loneliness, at moments when we let our mind drift with the whisper of the sea or the sighs of the breeze. They return time and time again like whirling waters and form a sad melody of life, intruding faintly, regardless of place, whenever we are engrossed in the present. On the last day of September 1980, my eight friends and I were walking down a high ridge and, a little before noon, we reached the upper course of the Kha Khaeng stream. Monsoon rains had been falling for days on end, at times seeming to split the whole range asunder, at others melting in a fine drizzle that lasted from dawn to dusk. Even when the rain stopped, the whole jungle was still as dim and damp as a deserted theatre. The smell of old leaves and soggy rotting logs had filled our nostrils along the way. Taking the ravine near the source of the Khwae Yai River as our starting point, we had walked for five full days in the rain, up and down steep mountain slopes. We were coming from the west, cutting across the common borders of Uthai Thani, Tak and Kanchanaburi provinces in order to reach the jungle’s edge at a place called Sap Fa Pha. Another day and we would reach our destination, provided we could safely cross the Kha Khaeng rapids. It was the end of the rainy season, and the water was at its highest level. The stream, turbid like a sea of boiling mud, had overflowed its banks and spread wide. All along its course we could see a scattering of half-submerged bushes, which swayed about like drowning men struggling wildly as they called out for help. Whole trees – roots, trunks and all – drifted down, and some got stuck on bushes which the current hadn’t yet torn up. On the opposite bank, a little beyond our route, a large monitor lizard had been swept onto a branch, to which it clung, bobbing up and down under the thrashing of the current; it was unable to climb up the bank and unable to let go, as it would be whisked away by the rapids. What a pathetic sight! It was a fully grown lizard which must have gone through a lot before being caught in the stream… Before deciding to leave the mountains at the end of September 1980, I’d spent more than five years of my life in the jungle. It hadn’t been easy for someone who happened to be born and lived for nearly two decades in a village by the sea, and all the more so for someone whohad always been conscious that his parents had hoped he would provide for the family once he had graduated from university. I was able to get rid of the first burden within a fairly short time: it took me no longer than two rainy seasons to feel at home in
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