I have just spent $10,000 for a face lift, for my bulldog, Old Blue. I named him that because when I picked him out as a puppy, he looked just like Old Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra.
Old Blue was always a faithful friend, bringing me my slippers in the evening, until one day he brought me my work boots instead. He had never made a mistake like that before!
The next day, he brought me my bowling shoes! I wondered what was going on with him. A week later he ran into the mailman and knocked him over. Old Blue wasn't himself and he kept running into trees and fence posts! I took him to the veterinarian.
The vet said he hadn't seen anything like it before. Our bulldog's wrinkles had grown so large on his face that they covered his eyes so he couldn't see. There wasn't anything that the vet could do, so I devised my own remedy. I placed toothpicks between the wrinkles covering his eyes. This worked for awhile, until I noticed Old Blue was staring at the toothpicks and going cross-eyed.
I took him to the eye doctor. The doctor said that he could cure the problem by prescribing a monocle. Have you ever tried to put a monocle on a dog? A few days later, I was tired of Old Blue winking at me with one eye and staring at me with the other.