The Real Reasons We Push People Away Before We Give Them A Chance
There’s a new dating technique Millennials have picked up on. It’s called the “let’s end this before it gets started” method, and it’s really catching on.
Most likely generated from a dating culture bathed in social media and Tinder, it’s become as popular and widely used as the equally popular no-text-back response.
We’re meeting at a rapid rate and dropping at each other accordingly. We’re giving out our numbers and taking them back just as fast. We’re constantly connecting and then disconnecting.
Seriously, it’s totally different than anything we ever expected from the adult relationships we envisioned. In all our preconceived notions, it went logically: Exchange numbers, set up a date, have that date and then go home, have another date, have a few more dates… and then either get together or break up.
Pretty simple. Now, however, it goes something a little less narrow and a little more cyclical: Exchange numbers, set up a date, cancel date — or maybe: Don’t exchange numbers, meet on Tinder, have sex, exchange numbers, never call.
Because what’s a canceled date (or a never-planned one) when you have plenty of others in the future?
But do you? What’s the rate of exchange on these things? I’m starting to believe that just because we’re giving our numbers out at an unprecedented rate, the number of us backing away before anything gets remotely close to looking like a date, or any type of scenario where one person could get hurt, is even larger.
But why? Where did all of this backing away come from? When did we become a generation without any follow-through?
When did we start giving up midway through solely because we’d rather go back home than see what could be waiting for us on the other side? When did we stop wanting to play and start becoming those kids standing on the sidelines?
I think somewhere between high school and real life, we were hurt a few times — somewhere along the way we became less bold, less confident and less ballsy.
Somewhere along the way we decided it’s easier to push people away than giving them a chance is.