CHAPTER ONE
Baby Al
I killed a dead man. That's why I'm in prison.
The dead man was my brother, Al. He was born six years after me, and I always hated him, even when he was a baby. Before he was born, my parents loved me. My father carried me on his back, and took me swimming. My mother bought me lots of dolls, and we played with them together. I have seen the photos. My parents took a lot of photos of me, in my first six years. I still have the photos, in a book.
But then Al was born. I have a photo of him, too, as a baby in the hospital, here in Los Angeles. My mother is holding him, and looking at him with a big smile on her face. My father has his arm round my mother, and he is smiling at baby Al, too. Al is holding his daddy's finger.
And me? Where am I in this picture? I am standing by myself, beside the bed, watching them. There is a strange smile on my face. I think. I am happy, but I'm not sure. And no one is looking at me.
It was always like that, after Al was born. He was a boy, and that was important to my parents — and very important to my Dad. Most of the photos in the book are of Al. Al eating baby food, Al learning to walk, Al on my Dad's back, Al playing football, Al swimming, Al running,