Discussion of some of the traps that lie in interpreting shared personal experience. We tend to forget that our own reading of that experience alters the conclusions we draw. This essay draws on the advice shared over the Internet with a young woman who said she had just taken a self defense course. She shared the pointers made by her instructor on information said to be gleaned when "he and the others in this group interviewed a bunch of rapists and date rapists in prison on what they look for,."What I would like you to notice in that sharing is that people, ordinary people, are sharing their experiences on the Internet. I don't know about your reaction, but I shuddred last weekend every time I saw a young woman in overalls that could have been easily cut off. That means I listened to the advice. But it also means I am reacting to it at an affective level. I was just told that rapists look for easily cut off overalls. But I was also told that rapists look for long hair. I didn't shudder everytime I saw a young woman with long hair. Why?