The cancer could be seen as something very private, my
disease or your disease, or as something concerning both, our
disease. The cancer experience was also shared with others.
Patient perspective
Patients could describe their bodies and cancer as a private
matter of nobody else’s concern and decided how much
information others should have. Some wanted to visit the
doctor together with their partner, while others avoided
sharing information:
I went alone in to my family doctor. She drives me down and that’s
that. We never discussed it. (Patient 7)
The patients did not always choose to share their physical
problems with the doctor. The reasons for not telling the doctor
could be a belief that problems would vanish in time or that
the patients had their own theories on causes and outcomes.
Emotional and practical support from family and friends
was often appreciated and even taken for granted. However,
support sometimes felt insufficient, because of the others’
lack of knowledge about the illness trajectory. Interest from
others could also be seen as interference, a search for
excitement and gossip. This could make the patient withdraw
from others to avoid pity. Supporting friends with cancer was
seen as an important task, mentioned by several patients.
They, as fellow cancer patients, could provide unique
support, which others without their experience could not.