Modern Family Magazine Is An Only Child a Lonely Child?
This month in Modern Family, child psychologist Dr Ethan Stephens answers a question from Andrea Gonzales, who writes
Dear Dr Stephens My husband and are facing a dilemma, namely the issue of whether to have a second child we already have one healthy, happy five-year-old son. Both of us have demanding jobs and limited time and financial resources, but we also want to make sure that our only hild does not become a lonely child. What are the pros and cons of having a second child?
Dear Andrea,
This is one of the most difficult issues that parents nowadays face As you point out, a concern that is often heard with regard to only children is whether one child necessarily means a lonely child Many parents feel a stigma associated with their decision to have only one child, fearing they are seen as thinking only about themselves as opposed to about their child's well-being There are no other children in the family for the child to associate with, which may lead to the cnild feeling lonely especially if both parents are working
Another common argument against having just one child is that an only child may be more spoiled than one with siblings. Many people believe that a single child will not have learned to negotiate with others or respect the give-and-take involved in many relationships Some think this may leave the child less capable of interacting well with people his or her own age than one who has been raised with siblings
Your son is not alone in being a only child There's an increasing trend for choosing to have one child for the very one child higher than ever misfoiawsa the percentage of families with only is general trend in Asia where in many countries includin Japan, China, Singapore Thailand-couples are having on average fewer than two childre
Advocates of single-child families argue that there are advantages for the child as well as the parents. With just one child, they suggest, there i potential for family arguments arising from si jealousy or parents favoring one child over the other(s). Moreover with only one child, the pare can afford to give more quality time and attent This often leads to increased self-esteem, which combined with increased independence, can lead t the child being more confident There are a num of ways that parents can help to ensure that their only child doesn't get lonely Here are some suggestions for parenting an only child
Let them be social. Children need friends their age and playing in a group encourages skills like sharing, teamwork, and patience. Find ways for your chi to socialize, such as play groups, sports, or summer camp
Welcome challenges. Only children learn to do many things for themselves. though they will need your help for some things Encourage your child to challenge himself by solving problems independently
Alone time is okay, too As much as you want to help your child interact well with others, don't worry too much about a child who is content to keep to himself Time spent alone contributes to personality development and decision-making skills
Unfortunately, Andrea, there is no simple answer to the question of whether or not to have a second child. The circumstances affecting each set of parents are unique. l always believe what is appropriate for one family may not be for another. The important thing. in the end, is to make a decision that both you and your husband feel 55 confident about.