Do you have any Thai guy friends?
by Chris in Random Thoughts Last updated on February 14, 2012
I’ve been living in Thailand for nearly 3 years straight now (except the 4 days I went back to Australia and 5 days I went to Cambodia). The past 3 years have been awesome, I’ve learned to speak Thai fluently and I’ve met so many awesome people, and weired guys to boot. But after 3 years I still only have 1 Thai guy friend.
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The Thai male friend I do have I think of him like a brother and he thinks the same way. He is younger than me and I think when I took him to his first Go Go bar solidified our friendship lol. But why is it I can’t seem to make any Thai male friends here?
I know so many foreigners but the main problem with making friends with Farang here is they always seem to be leaving so you make a good friend and then they have to go back to the states Australia etc. There are plenty of guys I know that live here in Chiang Mai and I have my own circle of friends none of which actually include Thai guys.
It’s not that I don’t like Thai guys or anything it’s just harder to make actual friends with them. I’m not talking about drinking buddies I’m saying a real friend you know, the kind of guy who would come to see you if you were lying in hospital you know.
I’m a very friendly outgoing guy, I can talk to anyone and everyone. I have no self interest when talking to someone either so why is it that Thai guys are so hard to make friends with? I know plenty of women I’m friends with but I wouldn’t call them good friends either I think there is self interest within that relationship either I’m using her to get at her friends and vice versa, I’m a real guy you know, It’s not possible to have a best friend that’s a girl who you are not intimately involved.
I had a conversation with my mate the other night about social circles in Thailand which was quite interesting. See unlike in the west when you have friendships in Thailand it’s based on your social class. If you’re rich you wouldn’t have a friend that lays bricks for example and same if you laid bricks you wouldn’t have a friend that drives a Mercedes to Warm Up. When Thai’s are young and going to school the social circles might be more mixed but once people start working it seems that their social circles change and they only mix with people of the same social class.
Have you noticed that when a Farang has a wife apart from old school friends the friends she has also have Farang husbands and vice versa. It seems there is another social class in Thailand which I’ll call the Farang class.
Is it due to the social class system that I’m unable to make Thai guy friends? Maybe it is, maybe it’s because when I make friends with someone I don’t care what they do or how much money they have I’m just looking for friendship but the Thai guys just don’t see themselves on my level or more likely are above me so they couldn’t possibly be friends with me?
Sure when you get older it’s harder to make good friends because people already have their circle which they are comfortable and happy with. Bringing a new person into the group would have to gel with everyone and it takes a long time to establish that kind of friendship not with one person but the whole group. When you come to Thailand you basically have no friends and don’t know anyone so your open and willing to make friendships but for those that live here already they already have their friends and circle.
I don’t think language is the problem since I speak Thai well and interests arn’t a problem either I love Thai chicks and beer which is the same for Thai guys. I don’t hang out at Farang places most places I go have 95% Thai patronage and yet making friends with Thai guys are still difficult. Maybe I spend too much time talking to Thai girls?
If I have any Thai guy friends or not doesn’t bother me so much but it is weired that Thai guys are difficult to become friends with. So I guess this article is really a question, do you have any Thai guy friends? I mean good friends how did you meet etc. Curious to know.