desire for a 9-to-5 office job.
The idea of working in an office setting makes you sick to your stomach. You tried working in an office and lasted maybe a month before you started having panic attacks.
Working on your own schedule suits you so much better and you thrive when you have independent projects to complete. Don't discount yourself just yet. You're not a failure. It's very likely that not being able to sustain a 9-to-5 office job will force you to create your own business.