This is a good start, but it is kind of bare, almost like a skeleton. It needs what
writers call “fleshing out”, which means adding even more details! One way to get
ideas on how to add details is to ask why, how, when, what, and who questions.
For example, with the detail, “There are a lot of trees and shade”, we could ask,
“How does this benefit us?”, “Why is this important to the reader?”, or “What does
this offer to society”? We could follow, “There are a lot of trees and shade”, with
a non-identifying (otherwise known as non-restrictive, or non-essential) adjective
clause, which you study in level 4. So, in other words we could add, “which
provide a cool and relaxing place to rest after a hard day’s work.” Now the
sentence looks like this, ““There are a lot of trees and shade, which provide a
cool and relaxing place to rest after a hard day’s work.” On a larger scale, we
could add an entire sentence to, “The gardeners do a good job of keeping up the
flowers and lawns” with a sentence like, “My wife and I often walk by the flower
beds to get ideas for what we would like to grow on our balcony.” Similarly, the
sentence, The mountains in the background add to the peaceful feeling could be
fleshed out with, “Whenever I walk their trails, I enjoy looking out over the town
and seeing how small everything seems. This helps me to distance myself from
my problems and to see them from a different perspective. So, now that we have
fleshed out paragraph A, it looks like this: