CATCHICK" by D. M. Larson
CATCHICK
I am tired of my catlike mutant powers. You know how annoying it is to be like a cat?
Look. I want to be able to go the beach without getting the urge to use the bathroom. I want to go swimming again. I am tired of all those naps. Please doctor. Take me next.
(Starts coking on something)
And I'm tired of all the hairballs! You can have my powers.
Please take them from me. I want to be normal.