Attempt to Remain Calm
Reacting desperately or angrily when there is a flare up of symptoms will often add to the existing problem. Remain calm. Acknowledge that it must be difficult to experience the expressed feelings, even if they seem out of proportion to the situation. This does not mean that you agree with these feelings, or that you think that the actions resulting from them are justified. However, it is reassuring if you listen to them describe their feelings, the pain they are experiencing, and the difficulty they are having in dealing with this pain. Remember that you do not have to defend yourself if verbally attacked, or develop solutions to their problems. If they express thoughts of self-harm, remind them of the plan for dealing with this problem that has been worked out with their therapist.
Allow and encourage the person with borderline disorder to attempt to bring their response levels in line with the situation at hand. This may require that you give them a little time alone to collect themselves. Then it may be possible to more calmly and reasonably discuss the relevant issues.
Attempt to Remain CalmReacting desperately or angrily when there is a flare up of symptoms will often add to the existing problem. Remain calm. Acknowledge that it must be difficult to experience the expressed feelings, even if they seem out of proportion to the situation. This does not mean that you agree with these feelings, or that you think that the actions resulting from them are justified. However, it is reassuring if you listen to them describe their feelings, the pain they are experiencing, and the difficulty they are having in dealing with this pain. Remember that you do not have to defend yourself if verbally attacked, or develop solutions to their problems. If they express thoughts of self-harm, remind them of the plan for dealing with this problem that has been worked out with their therapist.Allow and encourage the person with borderline disorder to attempt to bring their response levels in line with the situation at hand. This may require that you give them a little time alone to collect themselves. Then it may be possible to more calmly and reasonably discuss the relevant issues.
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