1. You’re not entirely in control. You — and what you want and the decisions you make — are one piece of the puzzle to you finding love. There are other pieces too, like the guys you come across and what they want and how they behave, or where you live and what dating culture is like today. It’s complicated. At some point though, all the pieces will fit together and suddenly it won’t feel complicated at all. Funny how that works. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack — you can’t blame yourself when you’re not totally in control —and let yourself enjoy the adventure of being single.