While we believe that divorce is necessary and right at times, we also believe
that parents have a heavy responsibility to do all that they reasonably can to preserve
and repair a marriage. This is especially true when the reasons for divorce are not the
most serious ones. We don’t think this is a radical perspective to hold about divorce. In
fact, public opinion polls suggest that nearly half of Americans (43%) agree that, in the
absence of violence and extreme conflict, parents who have an unsatisfactory marriage
should stay together.89 About one in three Utahns (31%) say that, when there are children
in a marriage, parents should stay married even if they don’t get along.90 But when
individuals are deeply unhappy in their marriages, for whatever reasons, it is only natural
in our society to wonder if things wouldn’t be better for everyone if the marriage were
ended. In some circumstances, we believe—and research supports—that divorce is the
better option. In other circumstances, we believe—and again research supports—that
the best option for all would be to repair the relationship and keep the family together, if
possible. (We will review this research later.)