My clothes have failed me. I remember the green coat that I wore in fifth and sixth grade
when you either danced like a champ or pressed yourself against a greasy wall, bitter as a
penny toward the happy couples.
2 When I needed a new jacket and my mother asked what kind I wanted, I described
something like bikers wear: black leather and silver studs, with enough belts to hold down a
small town. We were in the kitchen, steam on the windows from her cooking. She listened
so long while stirring dinner that I thought she understood for sure the kind I wanted. The
next day when I got home from school, I discovered draped on my bedpost a jacket the color
of day-old guacamole. I threw my books on the bed and approached the jacket slowly, as if it
were a stranger whose hand I had to shake. I touched the vinyl sleeve, the collar, and peeked
at the mustard-colored lining.
3 From the kitchen mother yelled that my jacket was in the closet. I closed the door to her
voice and pulled at the rack of clothes in the closet, hoping the jacket on the bedpost
wasn't for me but my mean brother. No luck. I gave up. From my bed, I stared at the jacket. I
wanted to cry because it was so ugly and so big that I knew I'd have to wear it a long time. I
was a small kid, thin as a young tree, and it would be years before I'd have a new one. I stared
at the jacket, like an enemy, thinking bad things before I took off my old jacket, whose sleeves
climbed halfway to my elbow.