Tom: Hi Lucy. What are you doing?
Lucy: I’m reading this article about friendship. It’s really fascinating!
Tom :So what does it say?
Lucy: It’s about how we choose our friends. Apparently, we choose people who are like us.
Tom: In what way?
Lucy: Well, we might like the same things, like music, or do the same sports, and that brings us together. Or maybe we find the same things funny or interesting. When we realize we like the same things, we become friends.
Tom: So it's that simple? Our friends are just like us? When I think about my friends, they all seem quite different from me.
Lucy: Yes, you're right. According to the article, we make friends at different times in our lives, and if we keep them for a long time we're probably not as similar as we were in the past. But we still have a strong relationship. And some people prefer to have friends who are different from themselves. But in general, people choose friends who are similar.
Tom: Has anybody studied this?
Lucy :Yes, they have. Actually, the article mentions a recent study which shows that choosing friends depends on how many people we have to choose from.
Tom :What does that mean?
Lucy: Well, imagine you're a student at a very small school. There probably won't be many people who are similar to you, because there aren't that many people at the school. So you make friends with people who have different tastes and interests. But if you're at a very large school, it’s easier to find people with the same interests, so your friends will probably be like you.
Tom: I never thought about it in that way! But what about adults? After leaving university, I didn’t see a lot of my old friends, and it was really hard to make new friends. Does it say anything about the best way for adults to find new friends?
Lucy: Let me see…Ah, here it is: ‘first of all, you should try to see or write to your old friends. It’s easy to do this with things like Facebook and social networking sites, and your old friends know you better than anyone. As for making new friends, find people with similar interests. Perhaps a club, or a sport or hobby will help you meet people.’ So it’s the same thing as when you’re a child.
Tom: And how do we know if someone will be a good friend?
Lucy: Well, according to this it’s someone who is really interested in your life, who makes you feel good about yourself, and who listens to you and talks about themselves too – that's the kind of person who makes a good friend.
Tom: I definitely agree with that!