Ok please let me explain about myself and all my past. If you are happy with it, I really would like to keep getting to know each other and see what happens between us. But if you think I am not good for you, then it will be ok and I will understand. So please just tell me if still think I am good for you or not good for you.
Ok, my first marriage was when I was in the army. I met her when I was working overseas in Western Samoa, she was polynesian. We got along really well and fell in love and were great friends. When it was time for me to leave, we spoke and we decided to get engaged. I went back to Samoa every two months for two weeks at a time for the next year and a half while we waited for her visa's and because I was in the army, she needed a security clearance to be done as well.
Anyway, she moved here to Australia and we lived together. However, the one side of her I never saw before we got married is that she was a very angry and violent person. If she felt frustrated about anything, she would begin to yell at me and scream at me and throw things and smash things. We tried to get her help for it, but it did not work and she wanted children.
I am not a violent person and I do not like to argue and I was very sad in the relationship. I also did not want to bring children into such a relationship as they would never be happy. We tried to make it work for a couple of years, but I could not do it anymore, so we separated and she returned home to Samoa.
We stayed in contact for many years, she remarried a Samoan man and has kids now, but I have not heard from her now for about 7 years.
So that was why my first marriage failed. She was a violent person and I am not and I could not live a happy life with her and if we had children together, they would not have had a happy life either.
I hope you understand that one.
Now, my second marriage was much better. We were good friends and we got married and we had two children and we grew apart. I will admit that a lot of it was my fault, but not intentional.
I was in the army still when we met, I wanted a stable life for our marriage so I left the Army and I joined the police force. In the police, I worked a lot of very violent and dangerous places and saw and went to lots of murders and suicides and car crashes with people and kids killed.
I did not realise it at the time, but I was talking less and becoming very quiet and withdrawn from family and friends. I really should have left the police, but I kept doing the job. Because I was withdrawing, my ex wife did too and it got to the stage where we hardly spoke.
About 18 months ago, we had a talk and she told me that she was not in love with me anymore and had felt that way for a while. At the same time, she had also changed a lot and was not the same person who I fell in love with either. A lot of things she was doing, I did not like either and the person I fell in love with would not have done. She began drinking a lot and got lots of tattoos on her, would say a lot of hurtful things and other things.
If I met her today as she is now, we could still have been friends, but she is not the sort of person I would fall in love with. After speaking for a long time and trying to save our marriage again, we both decided that we would not be happy together again, but it was mostly a decision she made, not me.
I was sad and hurt for a while after, but I accepted it. We are still good friends, we live close by each other and the kids come and go between both houses and if either of us need help with something, we are always there to help each other. But there is no longer any attraction between us. We love each other still as good friends and as the other parent of our children, but we are no longer in love in that special way.
She still says I am a wonderful and kind man.
So there was never anything bad that was the reason for my divorces. I have never packed up and walked out because I was bored. When I am with someone, I devote myself to that person and I am a very good husband and father.
My first wife was angry and violent, my second fell out of love with me and that was because of the work I was doing. I have left the police now and I feel again like I was before, but it was too late to save my marriage.
I hope that helps you decide.
There is also one more thing I must tell you because it may affect what you want in life. After my second daughter was born, I had a vasectomy because we only wanted two children.
Do you want a husband and to have children of your own?
Or would you be happy being part of the lives of my children and completing our family. I think it is important to tell you that because I am no longer able to have any more children, I cannot get you pregnant