You are an incredibly kind and beautiful woman Lookngong. Ask yourself what are the most important things in a relationship..... do you have them? If yes, you are doing well. If not, you must change things. If you do not change things your life will get more and more difficult. You must make incredibly large sacrifices now to be happy later in life. Do not be afraid to be selfish. You do. It want to be like this forever do you? Pain now is gain later.....